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Sex + Relationships

They Are Not The Sun, You Are

Going through a break up at any age can seem unbearable. Most times it feels as though we will never get through it. Recently, I have looked back on all those years, and all those break ups that I believed were “the one” and I can’t help but laugh at how I thought I would never get through those times.

Why is it then when someone leaves us we always think it is our doing? Sometimes we have to accept that love comes and goes, and that there is no rhyme or reason for a relationship not working out. Personally, I have found that coming to terms with a break up can be easier than we make it.

I have compiled a few tips that will help guide you through that rough patch you are in. And just so you know, that’s all it is – just a moment, not the end.

First, take a breath. You are feeling everything so deeply and heavily right now. Take time for you. Heck, have a pampering day if you need! Draw yourself a bath, light some candles, listen to sad music and allow yourself the opportunity to be upset. This is an important part in healing, because bottling your emotions up will cause you stress.

The second step is a bit harder than the first. Comes to terms with the fact that your relationship is over. Easier said than done, I know, but vital nonetheless. It’s not always the blame game, or pointing fingers at whose fault it is. Sometimes you give all the love you can to a person, and sometimes it just isn’t enough AND THAT’S OKAY. People change and so do feelings. If you truly love someone, let them go because you don’t ever want to force someone to be with you. Letting go can be an act of love too.

Wish the best for them. You’re hurting and you should, it means you cared about something. However, take the high road and hope that while the other person is on their separate journey, that they find peace and everything they look for. As a matter of fact, wish the same for yourself, too.

Remember that there is more to life than waiting around for someone to want you. Find things that you enjoy doing. Give love to yourself, and learn to appreciate you for all that you are. You are a wonderful masterpiece that has been through rough storms, and has come out the other side better than if she had stood in place. This is just another storm, kid. This is the most important step. Accepting yourself will make your future relationships even better. You will know what you stand for, you will know how deeply you can love, and no one will be able to tear you down no matter how hard they may try.


Kelly Carr

Seton Hall '19

My name is Kelly Carr and I am currently studying at Seton Hall University. I am a public relations major/ film minor.
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