The 1988 classic movie Heathers, as most films nowadays, is getting a reboot. That’s the last thing it needs.
Seriously, there are too many movies getting modern remakes that either completely drift away from the original plot and change its meaning or are just identical copies with a couple updated references; I’m not sure which is worse.
Heathers is a timeless film that touches on several controversial topics that, as a society, we are still trying to handle today. This black comedy is characterized by its take on bullying, gossip, suicide, sexual assault, among the other crude realities and anxieties that can roam the hallways of high school. Of course, it’s also filled with a bunch of the most iconic lines by Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder) and the Heathers themselves. In the film, we see the conflict between Veronica and social pressures, portrayed by the Heathers. The abusive relationship she has with Jason Dean (Christian Slater), more commonly known as J.D., contributes in her downward spiral that begins with the murder of queen bee Heather Chandler (Kim Walker). It’s amusingly raw and like nothing anyone had seen until that time. The uncensored satirical take on issues that were mostly avoided is what gave it that spark.
I didn’t expect much from the 2018 reboot if I’m being honest. However, I tried to watch the first episode with an open mind. It was a painful experience; watching one of your all-time favorite movies torn into trying-too-hard fragments and misplaced fill-in-the-cracks one-liners that didn’t even make sense half of the time.
The main thought running through my mind as I watched this unfortunately disappointing, but to be expected, reboot can only be put into Heather’s own words;
Besides the couple of easter eggs (color coded metal detectors) that writer Jason A. Micallef added, the show was just trying too hard to be edgy and like the original. Ultimately, that wasn’t the end result.
From the unnecessarily dragged out introduction to (spoiler alert) Heather Chandler’s “resurrection,” it’s evident the show is exceedingly trying to add more unnecessary drama and edgy aspects to the plotline. Having the Doris Day’s Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera) would have been a nice addition, had it not been morphed into some eerie distorted horror movie soundtrack. The dark and neon lighting shown during the intro just goes to show how extra they’re being with this. One would think if they were going to put that much effort into an the introduction scene, then they should have done the same with editing the rest of the transitions, right?
Wrong. Similar to what they did to the movie, the show transitions have also been chopped up and just kind of pasted together in a manner that they thought would make at least a bit of chronological sense. There are several scenes where it just cuts to other scenarios that make no sense. Heather Duke tells Veronica that they’re going to get lunch at school and it immediately jumps to them at a local store late at night.
Speaking of chopped items, the script seems to have also been completely shredded and then glued together again by a toddler. The one-liners are an essential part of what makes Heathers so iconic, and it’s only obvious that they would be included in the reboot as well. Which they were, just in a more awkward and ridiculous “modernized” way. The show lacks the sass and empowerment with which Heather flings her one-liners at those who aren’t up to her level. Instead, she’s just trying too hard to be edgy and dark which results in a bunch of unsolicited word vomit.
There were good intentions in trying to adapt the script so that it would be relatable to 2018 viewers. However, nowadays it’s become more difficult to make any jokes without instantly offending someone in the crowd. Unfortunately, this led to more censorship and it takes away the impact that some scenes were meant to have on the audience. When Veronica finally confronts Heather Chandler, it’s a badass turning point for the film. Veronica tells her off for what she really is and how she won’t put up with her bitchy attitude anymore. The show downsized this to a three minute cat-fight that ended up with Veronica fat-shaming Heather by calling her a fatty. I still can’t get over how ridiculous this was, and wasn’t even sure whether to laugh or cringe at their attempted portrayal of such a defining moment in Veronica’s character development.
On a more symbolic level, there were also important changes that affected the impact and meaning that the film brought to viewers. Heathers is packed with complexities and symbolism, from the red scrunchie to the entirety of Westerburg High School and the main characters. Most of this is lost or distorted as well in the 2018 remake and is replaced by a poor and misleading portrayal of modern day teenagers.
One of the scenes with the most meaning is completely missing from the entire show. Heather’s irreplaceable red scrunchie or its 2018 equivalent is nowhere to be seen throughout the first episode or trailer. Red, Heather’s color, represented power and the red scrunchie was a vessel of that power. Also, although the queen bee seemed to be superficial and plastic she, along with her two loyal followers were more complex than they appear at the surface. She was constantly objectified and suffered from low self-esteem as shown in the college party scene. Part of the shock factor that contributes to the raw satire from the original film are these more graphic scenes depicting physical abuse, eating disorders, sexual assault, and suicide. So far, most of these scenes have been omitted from the remake. The audience doesn’t witness the sexual assault that Heather Chandler goes through at the college party, instead she’s just publicly fat-shamed. I’m not saying fat-shaming isn’t a contemporary issue but the crudeness of either issue isn’t captured in the couple of minutes of the scene.
Other scenes that haven’t been shown and probably won’t be brought up include the ones where J.D. shoots the jocks in the cafeteria (big red flag for potential bae!), the star-crossed jocks’ murder, Veronica’s suicide, the abusive relationship between J.D. and Veronica, and the sexual assault at the double date. The other two Heathers also have key colors of their own, Heather Duke’s green portrays the envy she feels towards Heather Chandler along with her battle against bulimia, an eating disorder. Heather McNamara also has her own inner demons, but can’t muster up the courage to deal with them, represented by the yellow color of cowardice, and her low self-esteem fueled insecurities nearly drive her to commit suicide. The new Heathers haven’t shown this side of vulnerability that makes them human so far but I suppose it’s too early to tell. If I were to guess, I wouldn’t be surprised if their characters weren’t so profound.
J.D. isn’t your ordinary bad boy character either. He’s a straight up psychotic broken boy seeking to remedy the society in which he lives in in the only way he knows how, by blowing it up into nothingness. This trauma story is somewhat kept in the remake but his suave phrases are once again chopped up into awkward sentence fragments that give off a creepy vibe. Once again, his character is made into one that is trying too hard to be edgy and the typical misunderstood pariah. He’s not supposed to be some hottie with a dark past, he’s a genuinely messed up person who’s simultaneously trying to cleanse the world and receive the love he was deprived of as a child. There’s a sense of purpose, although unjustifiable, to his murders in the film whereas in the show he just kills for the sake of killing. As J.D. would say,
He wants to be the vessel of this chaos and blow up the school, which symbolizes society and this can take many different directions which I won’t go into in this article.
The randomness and awkwardness of the show also just kind of makes you wonder, is this how teenagers are seen by adults in the media? Although Heathers was clearly an exaggeration of typical high school life, it’s made clear by the sarcasm at every corner of the script. However, the remake doesn’t have that vibe and could even be mistaken for a serious interpretation of a modern day high school. That’s worrisome. I understand the issues that could arise if some things aren’t safely censored since the topics of suicide and other mental health issues are still present and difficult to address. The original film knew of these issues and was able to portray them in an explicit way that didn’t romanticize it because of how self-aware it was and that they knew their audience was smart enough to get the message. Living up to these high expectations will be difficult if not downright impossible, and with the rough start that the show has gotten off to, this remake shouldn’t be a thing.