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In Between the Stages of Netflix and Chill: 5 Signs Your Bae Is Becoming Abusive

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Seton Hall chapter.

Purple isn’t just one of our favorite fall lip colors. It’s also the color associated with domestic violence awareness month. While there’s no shade to breast cancer awareness, which is an extremely important issue, domestic violence awareness also falls in the month of October and can sometimes be overshadowed.

 

With the temperature finally dropping and cuffing season in full swing, it’s important for both men and women to be aware of the red flags of abuse. While being infatuated with someone can make you let different things slide, it’s important to know that no type of abuse is ok.

Here are the five types of abuse that can happen in a relationship, with a description of actions to be aware of in between your Netflix and chill sessions.

1.    Emotional Abuse

When you hear domestic violence you often think of black and blue bruises, but many times the damage isn’t as obvious. Any time a partner tries to undermine your self-esteem they are engaging in emotional abuse. Some examples of this are constant criticism, belittling the partner’s abilities and competency, name-calling, insults, put-downs, silent treatment, manipulating victim’s feelings and emotions to induce guilt, repeatedly making and breaking promises.

2.    Psychologically Abuse

Much like emotional abuse, psychological abuse leaves no physical scars and can be hard to notice. Psychological abuse occurs when a partner uses intimidation, threatens physical harm to self, victim, and/or others, blackmail, harassment, mind games and even stalking. Psychological abuse has the potential leave the victim with paranoia and even change their daily habits.

3.   Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is the most noticeable abuse, since it leaves physical scars on the victim’s body. Some types of physical abuse are aggressive grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, biting, arm-twisting, kicking, punching and hitting with blunt objects. If your partner ever gets violent with you it’s important to immediately leave and vocalize how it’s wrong.

4.    Sexual Abuse

We all know what “Netflix and chill” means but that doesn’t mean someone is entitled to your body while your binge watching the last season of House of Cards. Sexual abuse can manifest as acquaintance rape, forced sex after physical beating, attacks on the sexual parts of the body and fondling. Setting boundaries in the beginning of the relationship that “no means no” and “yes means yes,” can be one way to avoid this kind of abuse.

5.   Economic Abuse

The last type of abuse that can occur is economic abuse. This can manifest in several ways such as maintaining total control over financial resources including withholding money and/or access to money, forbidding attendance at school and forbidding employment.

No matter how much potential bae showed during draft season, realize that you’re worth so much more, and know you don’t deserve a partner who can’t treat you with respect. Equally as important as being educated on the topic of domestic abuse is being supportive to someone in an abusive relationship. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please contact 1-800-799-7233 or visit www.thehotline.org for help.

Crystal Jones is an upstate New York native that skips to her own rhythm. Ms. Jones’s hard work ethic and positive attitude allows her to stand out amongst her competitors. Crystal is currently a senior and will be graduating this upcoming May 2016 from one of New Jersey’s leading institutes, Seton Hall University. She is pursuing a degree in Public Relations and minoring in graphic design. She is extremely passionate about art and the creative process that enables artist to take simple ideas to the next level. Between classes and a part-time job, Crystal is the president of Seton Hall University’s PRSSA chapter, an Adhoc. to Seton Hall’s Student Government Association PR Committee and a blogger for Seton Hall’s Her Campus chapter. Crystal’s dream job is to work of a fashion and production company where she can utilize her creative abilities. Crystal hopes to “inspire underprivileged young men and women to attend college and follow their biggest dreams”.
Rebecca Gramuglia is a senior Public Relations major with a minor in Graphic Design at Seton Hall University. As the Campus Correspondent for the Seton Hall Her Campus chapter, Rebecca enjoys writing all types of pieces from features to relatable blog posts. In addition to being the HC Campus Correspondent, she is involved with her sorority, Alpha Gamma Delta, and is the President of the Public Relations Student Society of America. When she's not glued to her MacBook, you can find Rebecca obsessing over clothes and watching Clueless.