Over Thanksgiving break, my cousin suggested that we watch Love, Simon. I absolutely adore the movie, so we watched it and laughed and cried, and when it was over―like we always do―we dissected the movie. “I’m so glad this is out. I’m so glad they made this. But I wish there was a movie like this for lesbians.” I remember hearing this a lot when Love, Simon came out, and don’t get me wrong, I totally agree. But like I told my cousin, we can’t rush it. We can’t snap our fingers and expect perfect queer media, because if it’s rushed, we’ll get more movies like Blue is the Warmest Color, and we just do not need more movies like Blue is the Warmest Color. She agreed with me.
But the conversation got me thinking about queer women in media. Right before I left for break, my roommate Alexandra showed me the song “Pussy is God” by King Princess. At first, I laughed at the name. It had to be a joke song, right? But then she played it for me. And let me just say, Ariana Grande was right when she said God is a woman. I instantly fell in love with King Princess.
From what I’ve seen, men who love men have been getting better representation in visual media, while women who love women have been creating better representation in music. I love it. I know 2018 brought a lot of hardships for the LGBTQ+ community, especially with the current administration, and I don’t want to ignore that. But for right now, I want to focus on all the good that has happened within the LGBTQ+ community and my personal experiences with my bisexuality this year. It was a lot of love, a lot of growth, and a lot of happiness.
I’ve been out to my friends for six years now, my family for three, but this was the first year I finally felt fully confident in my sexuality. It was life changing. I thought I was proud before, but oh man. I can pinpoint the exact moment I realized I had completely accepted myself for who I am. It was a lot of hard internal work, a lot of working on self-acceptance and self-love, and I think most of us can agree that change like that doesn’t happen overnight. I put in the work, and I love the results. Twenty-gay-teen delivered. And with this in mind, I wanted to take a moment to talk about some of the badass queer women who are releasing absolute bangers. I know these are mostly mainstream names, I’m not trying to pretend my music taste is unique and I’m sharing some low-key, brand new names. This is literally just me gushing about women who love women, all of whom I love.
Halsey has always been incredibly open about her bisexuality, and it’s always been so inspiring to me. Before her, I didn’t hear any big name artists talking about being bi in such a casual way. I remember before hopeless fountain kingdom came out, she posted a video on her Instagram story of her lipsyncing “Bad At Love,” and the lines that played were “Got a girl with California eyes, and I thought that she could really be the one this time, but I never got the chance to make her mine…” and I kid you not, I texted, snapchatted, dm’d, messaged everyone that Halsey was going to use female pronouns in her music. At the time, I didn’t listen to other female artists who used female pronouns. It was the biggest deal to me. Halsey was a huge inspiration to me while I was looking for self-acceptance, and I love that there’s now an album where she casually sings about loving girls.
Song recommendations: “Strangers”, “Is There Somewhere”, “Drive”, “100 Letters”, “Hopeless”
When Demi Lovato’s album Tell Me You Love Me album came out, I lost my mind. I think I listened to only that for a month (I mean this literally). I had stopped following her closely after I got out of my Disney phase, and I honestly couldn’t tell you why I was so inclined to listen to that album, but I’m so grateful that I did. I had heard that she was bi, but I didn’t know for sure. One night I cleared my entire schedule to watch her Youtube documentary and then blast the album, and I was delighted when she said she didn’t pay too much attention to gender when she was involved with people, focusing more on how they made her feel. I know this sounds so small, but I grew up never hearing anyone talk about how they are attracted to more than one gender. Hearing people I already love talk so casually about it fills me with a sense of happiness I still struggle to verbalize.
Song recommendations: “Body Say”, “Tell Me You Love Me”, “Sexy Dirty Love”, “Ruin The Friendship”, “Concentrate”
Lady Gaga has always been that bi-con. I’ve always loved her mainstream songs, and only recently did my roommate (shoutout to Alexandra!) start showing me all the other amazing songs she’s released. I love Lady Gaga as a human and as the goddess she is (Ariana Grande really knew what she was talking about). Like I said, this is a newer adoration, but I love her with all my being and I want her to be happy for the rest of her life.
Song recommendations (I go so hard to her mainstream ones, I know everyone has heard these): “Born This Way”, “Alejandro”, “Bad Romance”, “Poker Face”
Last year, Alexandra showed me the music video for dodie’s “In The Middle,” and I have two things I want to say right off the bat: 1) if you haven’t seen it, go watch it right now, and 2) I loved it. I listened to it on repeat for a couple weeks, then listened to “Would You Be So Kind,” then Alexandra recommended “Sick of Losing Soulmates,” then she told me about her coming out song, and this is just a really long winded way of saying I got hooked. Dodie’s adorable, she makes beautiful music that always makes me feel at home, and if you’re into indie pop/folk music, I think you’ll love her.
Song recommendations: “In The Middle”, “Would You Be So Kind”, “Sick of Losing Soulmates”, “Party Tattoos”, “You”
Way back when, I went to a concert where PVRIS opened. I was immediately taken by Lynn Gunn’s outstanding voice, and listened to all the music PVRIS had released up to that point―which was not a lot. Flash forward to March of this year, PVRIS came to Seattle, and Alexandra (I hope you’re seeing the pattern; my roommate has impeccable music taste) brought myself and our friend Carly along to gawk at the beauty of Lynn’s voice live. Lynn Gunn, the lead singer and writer for PVRIS, is a lesbian goddess. Standing in line, waiting to be let into the venue, the three of us continued to express how excited we were to enter the lesbian shrine. Everytime I listen to Lynn’s voice do The Thing (listen to “St. Patrick” and you’ll understand), I get a little bit gayer.
Song recommendations: “Heaven”, “Anyone Else”, “What’s Wrong”, “Mirrors”, “Winter”, “White Noise”
Admittedly, I just started listening to Kehlani. Last summer, my friends from home told me about “Heebiejeebies,” and I got hooked on all the songs she’s featured on. The past month or so, I started listening to her own music, and I was immediately pulled in by the vibe of Kehlani. Because let’s face it: Kehlani is a vibe. She has a song for every mood, and I’ve loved hitting shuffle and discovering more of her own music. I still jam out to all the songs she’s featured on, but I appreciate her and her music so much more now.
Song recommendations: “Hold Be By The Heart”, “Honey”, “Heebiejeebies”, “FWU”, “The Way”
Like Kehlani, I just started listening to King Princess a couple weeks ago. She only has seven songs released, so it’s been a lot easier to consume all her work. Listening to “1950” was what gave me the inspiration for writing this article. I heard it for the first time while I was walking back to my dorm after class, and when I entered the room, I told Alexandra, “I can actively feel myself becoming gayer as I listen to ‘1950.’” And it was a joke, and she laughed, but at the same time, it was true. King Princess writes about queer love because that’s what she knows, and I love listening to it because it reminds me of what I know, and what I’ve yet to learn. Her music is fun and upbeat and gay, and I highly recommend everyone give her a listen.
Song recommendations: “1950”, “Talia”, “Pussy Is God”, “Holy”, “Upper West Side”
I’m a big fan of all queer media, but recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards music a lot more than anything else. Part of the reason is that I’m a college student, and listening to music is easier than sitting down to watch a movie or read a book. But a lot of it has to do with the fact that more and more artists are writing their own music, and now I can relate even more to some of my favorite singers. This year did a lot for my self-acceptance and self-love, and my level of comfort with openly being bi and consuming and discussing queer media. So here’s to a gay end to twenty-gay-teen and a gay start to twenty-bi-teen!
If you’re interested in listening to the songs I recommended, you can find the playlist here.