As humans, we think of ourselves as superior to every other species, but we forget that majority of our makeup is primal instincts. These instincts are based on the foundations of survival: fear, reproduction, and loneliness. Living in the 21st century, it’s not a shock that these instincts have become less aggressive and redefined. Fear can be translated as struggling through society; reproduction is now the search for love; and loneliness should seem nonexistent now. However, as lavish as modern living is, humans still maintain their fair share of struggles. Today, we are surrounded by so many individuals that we feel the need to be with the closest and most compatible person we can find. This leads to an excess of flirting, crushes, hookups, relationships, love, breakups, and heartache. With this whirlwind of emotions, we rarely take a moment to reflect on ourselves and our past decisions.
For past generations, it was easier to find your significant other because you already knew who you were. People’s social skills were fully developed, there were fewer distractions, and people knew what they wanted from life. One would go on a date and talk face-to-face the entire time, the only distractions being other living people–no phones or TVs. Each would be forced to have to listen to the other, (assuming these were decent people) keeping their mind open, and hoping this person was compatible to their future. Now in society, there is so much going on in the world that younger generations rarely have opportunities to discover who they are before there’s something new to be distracted by. We have become so dependent on technology that it seems to be more difficult to discover what we want in a significant other. With social media, everyone shares and ranks the love and affection that society should aspire for, impacting our judgment as to what we ACTUALLY want. This leads us to dating apps, claiming they can help you find the perfect person within a few miles radius. We communicate with these strangers over a screen and once we’re finally within a few feet of each other, we realize how wrong we were. I’m not saying these apps are a lie–many are able to help people connect and maybe even find their significant other. However, with all these options, there are multiple ways a person can lose themselves. We shouldn’t hold ourselves to the standards that others maintain because we are not the same type of person.
Loneliness is a primal instinct used to encourage one to seek and find other humans in order to increase each other’s chances of survival. Living in a world with a population of 7.7 billion people, you would think this instinct would have cycled out. Humans thrive on feelings of affection, encouragement, and happiness; all traits provided by the ones you love. When looking for someone to love, we seek out people who make us feel this way and who can erase any feelings of solitary. However, even when standing in a crowd with hundreds of people, it’s easy to feel as though you’re stranded on an island; but sometimes, that island is what you need. With our advancements in technology, instant gratification has crippled humanity’s idea of patience and we can’t seem to take the time to learn about ourselves. We forget that in order to love someone else, we first need to learn self love.
By utilizing this island, we take the necessary steps forward in learning to accept and love our flaws so that we may do the same to others. Many jump into relationships expecting their partner to provide that missing confidence or security and many times these relationships don’t work, causing both parties to get hurt. This island of self discovery is to help improve you, but doesn’t mean that you need to shun yourself from the world. Instead, try to spend time with friends who have supported you through everything and ask their opinions. From what they say, you may gain more insight on your past relationships and may even discover more about who you are. And although they are helping, you are not required to take their advice; it’s just reassuring knowing you have someone there for you. By taking these steps towards self love, you are one step closer to discovering whether you’re prepared to have a significant other and be exposed to their complex emotional being, or if it’s better to spend more time alone learning more about yourself.
History is full of hatred but it is driven by the love we are able to have for one another.