Recently I have noticed that I have a lot of friends in my life that really are not helping me. Honestly, they are dragging me down and treat me badly. So after this realization, I got to thinking why do we keep friends who are not good for us? I think that we do it because they have been our friends for so long. Maybe it’s because we feel bad for letting them go. Maybe it’s because we will have to see them again and we don’t want to start drama.
Whatever the reason is I think that we need to start letting them go. I know it is hard but no matter the history, or the awkwardness we have to start doing it. It’s 2019 and we need to do some self-care and think about ourselves for one.
So how do we do this purging of friends? I have thought extensively about this. It won’t be easy but maybe these are some things to consider.
1.) Are they a good friend?
Okay, this one seems obvious it but it really isn’t. We all know that this friend has already messed up a lot but we probably aren’t remembering everything. If you can at least think of 8 times where they have done things to you that were messed up then maybe you should consider dropping them.
2.) Have you talked to them about these problems and they have ignored you?
So I know sometimes friends just don’t realize that they have been being mean. But what if that is just not the case? If you have talked to them multiple times and they have just ignored it then you are in different situation honey. We all know that you would tell your friend that it isn’t okay if someone treated them like that. So why are you treating you that way?
3.) Do they actually listen to you?
This one is a big one. This one is hard to know but if you have told them something multiple times and they don’t ever remember it then they probably aren’t listening to you. If you want to test this one just ask them simple questions about yourself. If they can’t answer these ones correctly then they probably do not care that much.
Now I don’t know your friend but if they portray some of these qualities there is a chance that they are really not that good for you. At the end of the day though if you do decide to end it with them here are some tips.
1.) Always do it in person
Never and I mean never do it over text. You always want to say what you have to say in person. First, you want to do this so that you can get everything off your chest in a way that they can know how you actually feel. Over text, you can’t interpret things the same way. You definitely don’t want to have them misinterpret something because it will just come back to haunt you.
2.) Know the consequences in advance
You really have to know that there is no coming back from this. If you end it with them it is done no going back. You also have to think that it might be awkward and you might have to see them again.
In the end, you have to do what is best for you. If they are not good for you-you need to end it with them. There is no point on continuing with a friendship that is just dragging you down. But more important than that you have to be okay with the decision you make and know that you are doing for yourself and no one else.