A few months ago, I started a new job and my coworkers and I were talking about the most random things. Somehow we landed on the topic of love languages, which was something I had heard about before, but I didn’t have much knowledge as to what they exactly entailed. When I told them this, they said I had to take the quiz and let them know what my love language was. So I went on my thirty minute lunch break, typed in “love language test” on Google, and set off to discover my ideal love language. Here is what I learned:
This concept was first introduced in Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. He labels the 5 love languages as: physical touch, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation and quality time. These love language questionnaires consist of general questions geared towards each of the 5 love languages. Once the quiz is complete, a prevailing love language is determined in correspondence to the user’s answers. It is also important to note that people can oftentimes have a different love language for significant others than they do for family or friends. This is merely based on the fact that we need different things from different people; therefore, our love languages may differ depending on the type of relationship we have in mind when taking the quiz. When I had initially taken this quiz myself, I had my boyfriend in mind so my results pertained to my relationship with a significant other. Now, I want to elaborate on each of the 5 love languages and how they can be expressed in your own relationships with a significant other!
- Physical Touch
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If you enjoy physical connection, this is the love language for you! Physical touch encompasses all types of non-verbal types of communication. This can range from holding hands, hugs, kisses and so on. It can also be a simple facial expression to assure your partner you are happy to be with them. Many people feel most loved when given this reassurance through various forms of physical affection and might not even need much reassurance in the remaining love languages.
- Acts of Service
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This is the perfect love language for people with busy lives. Those whose love language is acts of service are appreciative when others ask questions and phrases like “Do you need any help?” or “I can do X, Y and Z for you!” This is often seen through small gestures such as cooking a meal or doing laundry. By alleviating their stress by going out of your way to help, an acts of service individual will feel all the love!
- Receiving Gifts
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This love language is for those who value thoughtfulness! Whether the gift is a physical present or a simple gesture, big or small, it will have a great impact. This can be anything from a birthday gift, anniversary present or even a little surprise to remind your partner you’re thinking of them! Any type of gift will show your appreciation through the thought that went into the gesture.
- Words of Affirmation
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People who oftentimes need that extra reassurance tend to fall into the love language that is words of affirmation. This encompasses both encouragement and attentiveness. By providing words of appreciation, in addition to being an active listener, your partner will feel valued and loved! These affirmations can be given verbally or by means of a handwritten note, text message or even a phone call. Constant encouragement and reassurance is the key for these individuals!
- Quality Time
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Those of us with this love language feel most loved when we get to spend uninterrupted time with others. One-on-one time is extremely important to ensure that we know we have their undivided attention. This can vary from a long weekend together or simply setting aside 30 minutes to give to your significant other. This has always been my number one priority with my boyfriend because we have been doing on and off long distance throughout college. Because we have been far apart, getting to see each other in person and spend quality time together is even more valuable to our relationship. Making sure to carve out designated time for your partner who practices a quality time love language will assure them that you are there for them and they will without a doubt feel all your love!
Although these love language quizzes are fun to take and share with your friends, they can also provide important insight into your relationships. Whether it be romantic or platonic, knowing which forms of communication best suit your personal needs are crucial to understanding yourself! Being able to recognize what makes you feel most loved will allow you to experience more love in the future. I highly encourage you to look up a love language quiz and see what you get as your preferred love language! You might be surprised which one you rely on most!