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We’re Actually Just Friends So Stop Asking

Every time I go out with my guy friend, I get asked by at least one person that horribly awkward question that no one wants to deal with: “So are you guys dating?” Ugh. It doesn’t matter how many times I get asked; it’s always uncomfortable. I laugh nervously and tell them no. They give me that look that says “Lol okay sure,” and then tell me how cute we are together, or even worse ask me, “Why not?” I’m here to call for an end to this interrogation by people who need to get their nose outta my book. It needs to stop.

I know what you’re probably thinking. “Guys and girls can’t be just friends! It never works.” The debate on whether dudes and gals can actually just be friends has been going on forever, but I can seriously say that I am just friends with a decent number of guys. I’m not saying that I don’t find any of these males attractive, because I would be lying. But I also find all of my girl friends attractive, and you don’t see that getting in the way of our friendship.

That being said, I treat my guy friends and my girl friends the same way. Going out with a group of guys is pretty much the same thing as going out with a group of girls. I’m just trying to have a good time, so the last thing I want is for some random acquaintance to start interviewing me about my relationship with someone.

It doesn’t matter how many other times I’ve talked to a person before, the second they ask “the question” I’m done with our conversation. I’ve mentally moved on to saying hi to that girl from my sociology class freshman year, because anything would be better than this conversation. Surprisingly, I didn’t want to go into the particulars of my life with someone I hardly know. Even if I am seeing one of the people that I’m with, why are you asking me about it? Does it matter to your life? Will my love life impact you in any way?  

Not only is getting “the question” incredibly uncomfortable, it’s kinda just rude. If you need to know something about my life, you will know it. The people who ask “the question” are people that I’m not close with (or sometimes are people I’ve just met), and shouldn’t be asking those kinds of questions casually at a bar/house party/whatever. What if there was some kind of emotional thirty-minute long story about how he doesn’t want to date but we just have such a great bond, you know?? And that is the last thing that person wants to hear, because they don’t actually know you when they ask “the question.” Only your close friends need/want to hear that kind of crap.  

If you’re trying to hook up with my friend, I get it. You want to make sure the coast is clear. But I’ve found that 98% of the time people ask “the question,” they want some hot gossip. So next time you want to ask someone you don’t know super well if they’re dating someone, just ask one of their friends like the rest of us.


Natalie started as Editor-in-Chief for Her Campus Santa Clara in the fall of 2014. She is a senior English major, and no, she doesn't want to be a teacher. If she has any free time, chances are you'll find her reading with a cup of tea at her side or lying in bed binge-watching Netflix. 
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