Just last week, I faced a wave of disappointment when I realized that Taylor Swift’s re-release of “Red” came out, and no matter how hard I tried, I felt nothing. There was not one track that made me feel giddy in love or gut wrenched, and as someone who loves to feel their music, I was annoyed.
This can most likely be traced back to the fact that there is no one in my life to make me feel any of those emotions right now. I don’t particularly take myself as someone who feels that they need a partner in order to feel fulfilled in life. Most of the time, the thought of considering the wellbeing of a whole other person as I navigate college is genuinely unappealing to me. However, single life will always have its pros and cons, so this article is for all of the single girls out there.
There are so many ways to maximize your single periods as a young adult. Most of us have big dreams and a lot to do to get there. Therefore, something that has helped me immensely to stop feeling sorry for myself is to recognize the magic in being selfish. And I don’t mean selfish in the way of being greedy or insensitive, but instead in prioritizing your own goals and needs, as there is nothing holding you back in this period of your life. To be selfish means that you have the time and energy to invest in yourself— your health, your education, and your happiness as a thriving young adult. You are able to pour attention into friendships that build you up and inspire you to be a better version of yourself. To be selfish means that if you want to go study abroad, you do so without having to even consider the woes of a long distance relationship. Being a free bird can be so much fun—especially when you’re young and have so much exploring left to do.
However, there are a few traps that every single young adult should be aware of in order to keep morale high as a single college student. As someone who is a self-proclaimed over romanticizer, I know how easy it is to watch an endearing TikTok, Rom-Com, or (and this is the worst trap of them all) the happy couples around you, and want what they have. And to be honest, sometimes it can feel really boring to not have someone to daydream about when the reminders of how great love can be are all around you. But, let’s be real here—being in a relationship is not all that worth it unless it’s with someone worthy of your energy. Relationships are hard. They can be draining and tolling even when you’re with someone incredible. I often find myself creating a version of people that may seem like great potential partners, until I actually spend enough time with them to see that they are nowhere near the person I made them out to be in my head. Over-romanticizing may be a fun way to keep yourself occupied, but in the long run, it is not the best way to manage expectations and ultimately take people for who they are. I advise that if you meet someone you’re excited about, definitely let yourself be excited, but do your best to hold off on developing a vision of them without knowing if they are in alignment with it first. The wait is most definitely worth it, and when the right person comes along, you won’t need any help from your imagination to fall for them.
At the end of the day, you have your entire life to find love, and you have so much life to live! Living for yourself is great advice for whether you are single or in a relationship. However, for those of us who strive to find a significant other, remember that the best version of yourself will attract the right person effortlessly, as opposed to allowing yourself to feel hopeless and un-empowered. I would love for this article to be a motivator to all my single ladies out there to take control of your life and do what makes you feel empowered. We’ve got this!