At some point, “that girl” stopped being a person and became a shopping list.
She wakes up at 5 AM, goes to Pilates, drinks her iced matcha out of a Stanley, journals, eats a perfectly healthy breakfast, goes to class, studies at a cute coffee shop, somehow finds time to work out again, and ends the day in her perfect apartment with a book before going to bed at 9:30. And somehow, she always looks perfect.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with wanting to be healthy, productive or organized. Honestly, I think most of us would love to have our lives a little more together. The problem is that social media has turned this idea of becoming your “best self” into an entire aesthetic. And once something becomes an aesthetic, there are a lot of people ready to sell it to you.
Because apparently, becoming “that girl” requires a lot of stuff.
You need the matching workout set. You need the cute water bottle. You need the expensive skincare. You need the supplements, the planner, the Stanley, the Pilates membership, the aesthetic tote bag and the $7 coffee. And once you have all of that, there’s probably another product waiting to become your new “must-have.”
That’s where I think the “that girl” trend gets interesting. It isn’t just about self-improvement anymore. It’s about consumerism.
We are constantly being told that the reason we aren’t as organized, confident, healthy or productive as the girl we see online is because we’re missing something. And conveniently, that something can usually be bought.
Don’t have a good morning routine? Buy this journal. Don’t drink enough water? Buy this giant water bottle. Don’t like your skin? Try this $50 skincare routine. Don’t feel motivated to work out? Maybe a new matching set will help. Don’t feel productive? Here’s a planner you absolutely need.
It becomes really easy to confuse buying the tools for self-improvement with actually improving yourself.
And I completely understand why it works. I’ve definitely had the thought that if I just bought a new planner, got a cute gym outfit, or found the right coffee shop to study in, I would suddenly become the most productive person alive. For a little while, it actually feels like you’re doing something. You bought the planner, so you feel organized. You bought the workout clothes, so you feel motivated. You bought the skincare, so you feel like you’re taking better care of yourself.
But eventually, that dopamine wears off.
Then there’s another product.
And another routine.
And another thing you’re supposedly missing.
That’s the trap.
The “that girl” lifestyle constantly gives you a new version of yourself to chase. Just when you start feeling like you’re finally getting your life together, you see someone online doing something else, and suddenly you feel behind again. Maybe your morning routine isn’t good enough. Maybe you should be waking up earlier. Maybe you need to start running. Maybe you need to try Pilates. Maybe you need to eat differently. Maybe your room isn’t organized enough. Maybe you need a better planner.
There is always something.
Social media makes this even harder because we’re constantly seeing people who appear to have it already figured out. You see someone casually showing their morning routine, and it looks like they just naturally live this perfect, organized life. What you don’t see is how much money went into creating that lifestyle or how much of it was specifically filmed, edited, and put together for you to see.
You are comparing your real life to someone else’s carefully curated version of theirs. Of course yours is going to look messier.
And I think this is where “that girl” can start making you feel like you’re constantly failing at being yourself. Instead of asking, “What would actually make my life better?” you start asking, “What do I need to buy or change so I can look more like her?”
Those are two completely different questions.
Maybe you genuinely love going to the gym. Great. Go to the gym. Maybe you love skincare and trying new products. Do it. Maybe having a cute planner actually makes you excited to organize your week. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is when you start believing you need all of those things to be happy, successful, or confident.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself. I actually think self-improvement can be a really good thing. But there is a difference between improving your life and constantly feeling like you need to buy, change, or optimize yourself into becoming someone else.
Maybe the goal isn’t to become “that girl.” Maybe the goal is to figure out what actually makes you happy and keep the things that genuinely work for you.
Go to the gym because you like feeling strong. Drink your coffee because you enjoy it. Buy the cute workout set if it makes you feel good. Use the planner if it actually helps you stay organized.
Just don’t let a TikTok convince you that you’re missing something every time you open your wallet.
Because at the end of the day, “that girl” isn’t a finish line. There will always be another routine, another product, another aesthetic, and another version of yourself that you’re supposed to become.
And if someone can convince you that you’re never quite good enough, they can keep selling you things to fix it.
Maybe that’s why “that girl” is such a trap.
Not because wanting to be healthier or more productive is bad, but because somewhere along the way, we started believing that becoming our best selves meant buying everything that was supposed to get us there.