Well it’s been a couple weeks since I wrote my “Normalize Being Single” article. While it hasn’t been too long since that article, a lot has changed quickly so I’ve decided to make this a “series.”
A lot of you are probably reading this asking yourself “why” and I asked myself the same thing. But so many girls I have never talked to before and others in general reached out to me about my article through Instagram, Facebook and text. I figured if my one article that was not “super detailed” could impact and relate to people my age, why not continue it? So here we are again but this time I’m going to dive deeper in to the topics and aspects of my overall theme.
To begin with part two, let me introduce myself to you and for some of you, I will reintroduce myself. Hi, my name is Abby. I am currently a senior at the University of Scranton (horrifying, I know) studying journalism and electronic media with a concentration in broadcasting and a minor in sports communication. I participate in HerCampus as well as WUSR (the school’s radio station). On top of that, I work at a gym and do social media for a wheel company. I just interned at the Scranton Times-Tribune as a staff writer and I volunteer to help run social media for a local foundation founded to fight uterine cancer.
You’re probably like great, I don’t care, that doesn’t apply to me, which you’re right it doesn’t but an aspect of it that does is the fact I may do a lot but I don’t know exactly where I want to be in life and that’s OKAY. I started college with the idea of going in to sports broadcasting, which I still would love to do and strongly consider it, but I have gained a passion for radio production. The thing is us independent women may not have it all together, but we will get there. We will figure it out on our own. Everything will fall into place, not everything is in our control, no matter how hard we try.
I may preach girl power, independence, BEING SINGLE, hard work but yet frankly, I probably seem a bit uptight to most of you, especially to my friends. When I texted my friends that I had an idea for an article and needed quotes from them on how I am with relationships with my career life, I received two texts back that stuck out to me which were: “I think you’re scared to let someone in to your life after your past trauma and I think you need to just open up, have fun and have OPTIONS because you’re young and beautiful” and “when it comes to boys, I feel like you’re a bit particular about your “type” and don’t really like to consider boys who don’t perfectly fit that type which makes you, maybe, slightly uptight and not open-minded to a variety of men.” After reading them and thinking about the words said, I realized I had discovered this article’s part two theme. The theme is to hold yourself to a high standard but to also “live life.”
In short, I mean put yourself out there while still balancing focusing on yourself. I have a friend I facetime just about every day for hours (shout-out Katie). While me and her are very similar when it comes to being driven about our careers, she puts herself out there way more than I do. I have never thought about it and honestly, I didn’t ever care because the thought of even texting a guy never crossed my mind because it was that irrelevant to me. It literally appeared as a waste of time but Katie decided to bring up a point recently that made me think as well as those texts did.
I have had guys reach out to me and I always shut them down immediately, which I always thought was my best decision but many disagree. A little bit after part one was posted, Katie said how it’s been 3.5 years since I have even texted a guy maybe I should put myself out there a little bit and live. I said “yeah, okay” but the thought lasted in my mind for about a week, then I read my friends texts and suddenly I thought to myself “oh no, maybe she’s right, as well as them.” I have almost made myself so isolated from men that I started to realize maybe I do need to “live a little” so I have started to do just that, kinda, I’m trying. It’s a work in progress.
While it’s okay to have career and future as your top priority in your life over relationships (of any kind; whether it’s friendships or love) and going out, life is definitely too short to restrict yourself. I think we all need to learn the balance between the two but I do think it takes time to be able to. It took me years yet I’m still so young. So my message is to all of you: Learn to live fully and for you.
A career is definitely important. Being an independent woman is important. School is important. There is SO much more that is important in life that we need to do and achieve for our future selves, but don’t restrict yourself on the way. Life is too short to hold yourself back from the little things whether it’s wearing that skirt you like but you’re too nervous what people will think, going on a casual date with that one guy because you don’t want a relationship or not going somewhere you want to go just because your friends don’t want to. Take some risks just to gain some experience in life.
When I wrote that first article a couple weeks ago I did it to normalize “single women” but by that I really meant to normalize the idea of “single” while living for ourselves. “Single” somehow comes with a connotation that either were single because we were dumped, can’t find someone, we’re too picky or that we can’t move on but sometimes were single just because we need to be for ourselves and want to be. We DO need to “normalize” being single but along with that we need to stop holding ourselves back in fear that something “bad” can happen. Restricting ourselves because we’re so focused on ourselves also causes damage because we are missing out on so much in life that shapes us.
So like I said last time, take all the time you need to focus on yourself but don’t let it consume you so much that you hold yourself back from some of life’s best, undiscovered adventures living in fear of what could happen. Sometimes these experiences you’re holding back on can teach you the best of lessons, whether it’s good or bad. Life can certainly surprise you, we can only control so much so live in the moment a little. But, don’t worry, I will not end this paper with a sugar coat: Guys are still sometimes a major pain in the ______ so you do you girl. Live your best life for you and only you. Talk to y’all in soon in part 3.