No Clowning Around: What You Need to Know About "The Clowns"

October is here and Halloween is right around the corner! Time to browse all of the overpriced polyester costumes and carve those pumpkins… and keep your eye out for clowns roaming your streets.

You have probably heard numerous news reports or stalked the @Clownsightings Twitter account late at night under your covers at this point. If you haven’t heard already, there have been creepy clown sightings sweeping the nation this past month.

No one really knows if this is just a comedic stunt or something to actually be afraid of, but one thing is for sure- it’s scary af.

Sightings, which started in South Carolina, have spread in all directions across the country. There have been numerous videos uploaded all the way from Florida to New York to Texas to Washington- even Quebec has had a few scares. Unfortunately, Pennsylvania is clown heavy, with sightings all the way from Philly to Wilkes Barre to East Stroudsburg.

These clowns have been sighted in the woods, on porches, on bridges, staring into surveillance videos, in cemeteries, and (OMG WHAT) on multiple college campuses. There have been numerous police reports of men dressed as clowns luring young children into the woods with money, and the scare has become so intense that some elementary schools have kept recesses indoors due to claims of roaming clowns.

A Bloomsburg University student claimed to hear scratching against his front door and when he checked to see what it was he was shocked by a terrifying clown leaning against the window. The clown was “just standing there with a balloon in its hand, watching.” (Keep in mind Bloomsburg is about an hour from us. Yes, you should be peeing your pants.)

There have been multiple arrests so far of those who are harassing the public by dressing as these horrifying clowns. It’s uncertain whether or not this is all one big fad or an installment in the conclusion of the world (Insert reference to the election and global warming,) but at least you now know to run for your f*&!ing life if you see a one.

 

Here are some pictures in case you weren’t creeped out enough:

omg.

I’m not ready to die.

Everyone grab your pepper spray.