My sophomore year of college was possibly the worst year of my life. Actually, scratch that, it WAS the worst year of my life. I went through two breakups, a broke away from my toxic friend group, handled academic stress and challenges, tackled family issues, and was sent home from college due to a global pandemic. It was a lot for me to digest. When we were sent home, I had to find a way to deal with everything that happened to me all in the short span of a few months.
I thought I would never get through it and would never be happy again. I cried almost every day of quarantine, all while having to deal with the transition of online school and adjusting to being at home. My opportunity to start over the second half of last semester was completely ripped away from me. I felt more alone than I have ever felt in my life, feeling as though I had no one to turn too. The few best friends I did have live far away, so relaying my feelings to them was hard. Additionally, I did not want my friends to feel like they were my therapist. It was my trauma, my issues. It was not their job to heal me, but mine.
I started to focus all of my energy into school, one of the only things that I could take my mind off my sadness and trauma for a little while. There were times where school broke me down, from doing work all day, every day. However, there were times where I felt thankful to have an outlet to reduce my stress, such as my Shakespeare and Women class that semester. My professor saved me, providing me an outlet to express my thoughts and forget about my worries
for a short period of time. Also, I started to get into painting again, a love that I have had since I was young and rarely get to do because of school. Journaling also helped tremendously, as I was able to pour my thoughts and feelings onto the page.
You’re probably wondering why I am revealing all of this to you. The reason being is the following: if you are currently going through a rough patch, thinking life will never get better, this is your wakeup call- it DOES get better. Just when you are not looking for it, the good will flow into your life again, just as the tide rolls onto a beach, slowly but surely, it will return. I’ve found that when you actively work on yourself, one day you will find that life is ok again. Since January, I have found the people who truly appreciate and love me. Most importantly, I now know my self-worth. I know what I deserve and what I do not. If there are a few things I wish for you to get from this article it is this: If something does not serve you, walk away and never look back. You cannot drive a car while looking constantly in the rear view mirror. Work on yourself, for yourself. Know your worth, and never let anyone question it. Finally, know that the bad times do not last forever, life gets better, and you are loved.