The pain of loss is a tough obstacle to deal with in any situation. In my experience, losing my family dog was like losing a sister. After having Bailey for 13 years, she was more a part of my life than any other friend I knew; she was my best friend, my cuddle buddy and my protector. When I went off to college, Bailey guarded my mom every waking moment; she was Bailey’s favorite person in the whole world and, honestly, it was so beautiful to see that kind of a relationship between a human and an animal.
February 3rd. After dealing with a lot of health issues and leg complications, Bailey left this world for a better one beyond the clouds. The pain is still fresh, but I’m dealing with it, knowing that she’s always here with me. And people might not share the same view point of family pets as I do, which I know many do not, but I figured it might be helpful to even at least one person if I were to share my experience. This is in no way the right way to grieve, if there even is one, but I’m sharing what I found helped me. So, here are some helpful ways that I dealt with the loss of my dog from over 100 miles away at college.
1. Talk to Family members
If you’re far away from your family or not with them at the time of grieving, stay in touch. It may help to be in a group chat and do what my family and I did, which was share our favorite pictures of B. When we all got together, we shared our favorite stories and occasionally texted each other with fond memories of our lovable pup. But overall, talking to your family members helps because these people are going through the hurt with you and experiencing the same thing. If there’s anyone who would know how you’re feeling and what you’re dealing with, it’s them.
2. Look at Photos
I know one of the hardest things I could do was look at pictures and remember, but the photos you look at are from happier times, when everyone was in a better state. Don’t look at those instances like they’re sad, think of them as happy times. I went through all of my saved snapchat pictures, in addition to my pictures on my phone and made a separate album for my dog whenever I missed her. These are in addition to the polaroids I already have hung up next to my door. They’re really nice to look at when I’m feeling down.
3. Let Yourself Cry
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the loss of someone or something is a grieving process. Grieving I the sense that you’re upset over the loss of something, so you’re allowed to express your emotions. Let me repeat that: You’re. Allowed. To. Express. Your. Emotions. Do not let anyone tell you that you’re not allowed to be upset or you shouldn’t be upset for more than an *insert amount of time here*. No, that’s bull. Everyone deals with events differently, so everyone has different reactions. Remember, you’re allowed to get upset. An animal is like a best friend and losing them can hurt.
4. They’ll find ways of being with you
Once upon a time, I would hate that my favorite pair of leggings were covered in dog hair. I hated that her long, white fur would be stuck to literally everything I own. Now, I wish I had that back. My mom was cleaning the carpet and got covered in dog hair. Her response? “I just left it there. I can’t be mad at her. At least now it’s like I’m, carrying her around with me”. And yes, this may be a little bit extreme for some, but you can’t get mad at that. Bailey’s hair is everywhere and, in a sense, it’s like she’s still here. So I look for pawprints in the snow or a sunny patch of grass and imagine my bug rolling around.
Losing a pet is so hard and everyone deals with it differently. I still get upset sometimes, but I know that her leaving us meant her abandoning her pain, too. I know in my heart my family and I gave Bailey 13 amazing years in a loving home, with her as our central concern, always. She helped my family grow closer and I could never thank her enough for that. I miss my best friend, but she did a really good job at making me happy, and I’ll stay that way just for her.