You met one weekend through a friend who was dating his roommate. It might not have been love at first sight, but man was he a nice guy! He was thoughtful and kind and always knew the right thing to say. After a year things start to get serious. The thought “I want to spend the rest of my life with him” might breeze through your mind. Then, BAM, you break up. You did not know it was coming! What do you do to get over your ex? Follow these five healthy solutions to get over him!
After the break up you think to yourself, “Don’t worry he’ll miss me, we will get back together…” Let this be a wake up call. You are better than that! Do not wait around for a guy that does not already know your worth. You are smart, funny and pretty. Do you know what you need? Yourself. Remember that time before you met him? Life was not so bad! You had fun with your girlfriends and you loved life. Now that is attractive, a girl that knows how to have fun! Do not sulk or be spiteful, my friend. The happier you are the more you will attract a man that wants to add to your already huge pot of happiness!
1. Take a Week To YourselfThis is an integral step in the process of getting over your ex. Do not text him; do not send old pictures of you two together saying, “Remember this? We were so happy.” If he wanted to remember he would have tried to do that before he broke up with you. Stay strong and hold your ground. If you go to the same school with him, try to avoid him. (We both know, you know his class schedule and what path he takes to get there.) A week to yourself makes you realize that being alone is not bad. Who would not want to sprawl out in the bed, especially without any snoring?
2. Have a Support GroupThink about it, how many hours in a day did you spend with him? Sleeping together gives you 8 to 10 hours. Plus the time you spent together during the day. That is a lot. Yet, your friends are still always there for you even when you put them on the backburner. I suggest you talk it out. Your friends are there to listen, but do not talk their ear off. Not every conversation should revolve around him. In the beginning you get the lenience week of just trash talk and crying to your friends. After that week it is time to cool down and not obsess over it. You can spend more time with friends you have not talked to in a while. Go get coffee with your old roommate or bowl with a bunch of girls on a Wednesday.
3. Distractions, Distractions, DistractionsI took up knitting. It is a great meditative way to keep your mind and hands busy. I could knit for hours watching television. During that time I do not think about anything but my stitch and who is going to be America’s Next Top Model. Only use healthy distractions. If you decide that partying is your distraction do not over due it. Your friends are there to have fun with you, but when you start crying at the bar… then he wins.
4. Find Out What Makes You HappyThis relates to taking time for you. You might think that without him all happiness is gone. That is not true. If you forgot take this time to try new things. Go to that painting class downtown you did not have time for. Sing in the shower or go to an animal shelter and help walk the dogs! Even by just putting a smile on and getting a smile in return by a stranger can make your day.
5. Rationalize Why it HappenedReflect on why you think the breakup happened. If he did not give you a straightforward reason then analyze your actions the past week. Did your actions cause an escalation in the argument? How could you have used better conflict resolution methods?
If it is not your fault and he did something to harm you emotionally or physically, than why are you sad? If harm is involved how is your happiness increased with him in your life? Use this reflection time to make you a better person as well as find what you are looking for in a healthy relationship.
Take Home Message: Be strong and do things that make you happy.