To all the college freshman, congrats you just survived your first month in a big girl school!
Looking back on the past month, you could probably agree that your expectations of college were not the most exact and everything in your life has definitely changed in some way.
It’s definitely an adjustment trying to find your balance between academics, socializing, sleeping and personal time. Between taking on a greater course load than you usually do to maintaining your new friendships to just finding time to catch up on your sleep, it seems like there’s always more you could be doing that you don’t have time for. You probably couldn’t even figure out how to go about doing these things, let alone trying to do them all at once. The first several days of college, it felt like my constant mood was this:
Well, even though I admit I’m still struggling to find that balance from time to time, I can guarantee you that I’m definitely feeling A LOT better about everything than I was when I first moved in a month ago. After sitting down a few times and actually looking at the things that bothered me, I realized that all the things I was worried about or stressing over was completely natural and have been overcome by mostly everyone that just began college.
My biggest worry going to a school where I really didn’t know anyone was how I was going to even begin to find people to spend my time with. At home, I had a pretty close group of friends that I would spend ALL my time with. Leaving them was one of, and still is, the most difficult part of college. So when I went to college, I couldn’t help but feel the pressure of finding friends that were as good as the ones I had at home. However, the first week or so, were probably some of the most uncomfortable moments. I had maybe one or two friends that I could only sort of rely on to get meals and study with, but our schedules barely lined up during the day. Even though I used to pretty much look forward to my alone time, for the first couple weeks, I was constantly freaking out and feeling too anxious to do anything alone. I felt like I always had to be with someone or I would miss out. Seeing all the Instagram posts and Snapchat stories of everyone with their new, best friends made me feel even worse, like I was doing something wrong and everyone was having way more fun than me.
While it may feel like the move to just lay around in bed and take naps, it was, and is still, definitely not the solution to adjusting to college. It took me a whole month to realize that I needed to stop comparing my life to others and just give myself a little push out of my comfort zone. I started to push myself to talk to more people in my classes and around my building. I found myself still sticking to the one to two friends I had in the beginning, but also branching out to meet their friends. By stopping myself from constantly stressing out and just waiting for someone to approach me, I was finally starting to find people that might just stick around. Eventually, I just started sitting with the same people at meals and studying with them. The more we hung out during these casual settings, the more we found things in common with each other. From just staying in and talking to going out with them, I was finally starting to feel comfortable enough. Even though sometimes it feels weird to be alone when there are always things constantly going on, I realized that I could spend some time to myself relaxing or studying and it’d be perfectly okay because everyone needed their alone time at some point. While the first couple weeks had its rough moments, these next four – well, five for all those like me in the occupational therapy program – were going to be some of the best as long as I let myself enjoy it.
However, if you still find yourself stuck in this situation, just remember that you are still not alone! It’s only been a month so don’t go thinking that if you’re still feeling like this, it’s too late. Everyone, even that girl on your feed that looks like she’s having the time of their life at parties and tailgates, still feels this way at some point. It’s never too late to step out of your comfort zone and start pushing yourself to make friends. Even that friend group that you think looks too exclusive to join, is still on the look-out for more people to talk to! Start talking to the people in your classes, join clubs or even just compliment someone in your building because you never know who you can really connect with! I know it’s can seem scary and incredibly awkward, but by just putting in that extra effort and putting yourself in a situation to meet friends can really make the difference! Naps are fun but it’s even more fun to have friends to scream and dance to throwback songs with when you just really can’t sleep anymore!