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Being You in a World Full of “Thems”

Especially in a college setting, young adults seem to thrive among our friends and peers. However, I can promise you that each one of us is having some kind of internal experience reminding us of our own personal interests and personalities, struggling to find a happy medium or just a way to balance it all.  Interpret this as you will; the fight between fitting in and being awesome friends with yourself affects us all very differently. Here’s some reminders to keep you chuggin’ along.


“You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

            I take this quote quite seriously, as I have experienced this myself a few times. Going out with your friends during a stressful time in your life could be helpful for the duration of time you spend with them, but let’s be real – you’re only suppressing the issue (and possibly letting it build up) to battle later. Also, you can’t possibly have the most fun possible if something is hanging around in your head. Do not be afraid to take time to yourself to relax; there will be many more opportunities, and when those times come, you and your friends) will be so happy to see a genuinely happy you. 


Your physical, mental and spiritual health depends on you.

            As social issues or concerns worry us all in our young adulthood, let us not remember the many factors that go into being a satisfactory social butterfly. You need to be aware of and familiar with you more than anyone else is. This in mind, the best way to be a great “social you” starts with solid health and neutral or positive thoughts in all aspects of your personal you. Take the necessary steps to get help where needed (or wanted), and do not feel ashamed. Though the development of our personal lives is a journey taken on our own, it’s okay to find navigation. After all, talking to a new person can help us to discover things about ourselves that we had never known before.


Guts are for more than just horror movies.

            At young ages, we develop our moral identity as a product of help from peers, parents, and caregivers (social situations). This is an important stage in development; however, this does not end as we go throughout life. If something seems fishy to you, listen to your gut – it did grow up with you, right?  It definitely knows you better than your friends do. Do not feel pressured to succumb to something all of your friends are doing. Keep in mind the grounded you that you are still trying to meet and be friends with. That person is the most important in the group (and if they really are your friends, they’d want to meet that person, too). 


Now, don’t go and drop your entire friend list “in search of a better you”. Instead, take the above and use it in conjunction with the positive energy that your friends give off and find that you that you’re searching for. Alone in a room or with your friends, youare still there in both situations. Be patient, open-minded, and willing. We are still young, and so is the journey.



Kaleigh Valeski

Scranton '20

Third-year Counseling and Human Services major with a packed schedule consisting of Sunday school teaching, becoming a committed yogi, shopping (usually for things I definitely do not need), and staying energized through it all!
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