Why the “Number” Doesn’t Matter
Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Or me and that guy from down the street, or a family friend and a handful of strangers. It doesn’t matter who or how many. And if you think it does, you may want to think a little harder.
Of course, not everyone is comfortable dating people with long track records, but why? Diseases, sure, but that’s what contraceptives and checkups are for. If you’re clean and consenting, what difference does it make? Some people feel natural when they can physically express themselves, while others need to build up an emotional bond first, and that’s perfectly okay. Your “number” doesn’t indicate your level of emotional maturity. It shows how many people you’ve slept with, and that’s the most you can assume.
The stigma behind dating virgins is outdated, but it’s stood the test of time, just like the phenomenon of “slut shaming.” The stereotypical virgin is looking for love and has a tendency to become clingy. In reality, many virgins are ready to hop in bed with anyone at any time, but just haven’t had the opportune moment. Friendlier folk, on the other hand, carry the reputation of being easy, sleazy, or straight up dirty, which is just as ridiculous. Touch is a love language for a reason, folks, some just touch more than others.
Sure, if you wake up next to someone and instantly feel a sense of dread, maybe you should re-evaluate some things, but that’s for you and only you to decide. Sometimes you just need to let out some steam in the form of various bodily fluids – hey, we’re all human. Whether the receiving end of that steam is a stranger or your soul mate, it’s all in good fun. Any shame regarding personal decisions should be taken with a grain of salt, or perhaps an entire mound. Just as a stranger shouldn’t tell you to gain or lose weight, no one should be allowed to tell you if your past is up to his or her moral standards.
Nothing can change what’s already happened, but if you can live with it, your significant other can too. The opinion of anyone else is meaningless and hollow – Joe-Shmoe in class isn’t going to live with you for the rest of his life, so why should it matter if he doesn’t approve of your lifestyle? Besides, no matter how many people you’ve casually engaged with, the feeling of an intimate cuddle will always shine through the rest. It’s called making love for a reason, and when it’s real, it feels like the first time every time.