Girl 1: “Have you ever met Girl 3, the really pretty one? What do you think about her?”
Girl 2: “I have! Girl 3 is so nice and sweet. She is really funny, too.”
Girl 1: “She is! I had a conversation with her last week. I think she is so smart.”
Girl 2: “I agree! Thank you for this lackluster conversation! Love ya!”
Girl 1: “Yas bae! See you at the next Delta Apple Pi meeting!”
Did y’all learn anything about Girl 3, other than the fact she is also probably an average-looking white girl who gives mediocre conversation and is a member of Delta Apple Pi? I certainly did not. Well, this conversation is a remake of a few of the past conversations I have either heard or have been a part where these bland words were used to describe aspects of someone’s personality. I know I’m very guilty of doing the same.
The problem is not just that these words are vague and used to describe, pretty much, everyone; the issue is that we often use blanket words and terms as a shortcut when we really want to say something else. Adjectives like pretty, nice/sweet, funny, and smart are positive, but overusing them does a huge disservice to the complexity of human personality.
In addition to this, these words have so many synonyms that can have their own meanings. You can even combine these adjectives to get different ones! For example, if you combine funny and smart, you get witty.
We do the same thing with verbs. We often say that we like or love someone when we can instead say we admire or respect them.
Diversifying our vocabulary is so necessary when we describe those we love – especially our girls, who are often limited to and validated just by their looks or how sweet they are.
Being the studious young woman I am, I came up with a short, incomplete list of more descriptive words we can use to replace the unimaginative, roundabout ones we say in everyday conversation.
1. “Smart”
Creative, Inspiring, Influential, quick-witted, perceptive, discerning, wise, thoughtful, insightful, deep, honest, capable
2. “Sweet” or “nice”
Compassionate, personable, modest, forgiving, engaging, kind-hearted, sweet-natured, humble, demure, humble, respectable, open, sincere, well-meaning, genuine
3. “Talented”
Accomplished, creative, multifaceted, skillful, unique, gifted
4. “Funny”
Quirky, tongue-in-cheek, dry, humorous, extraordinary, witty, amusing, laudable
Most of my words are not ‘big’ and they do not necessarily have to be. They are not meant to be synonyms, yet they are much more effective and descriptive enough to weave into everyday conversation. Let’s make our friends, family and loved ones feel validated about their complexities and individuality, beyond being pretty and nice.