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Sex + Relationships

Women Discuss Consensual Nonmonogamy

As our world grows more complex and we understand the intricacies and complexities of human relationships and how they function. Lately the topic of consensual nonmonogamy, be it open relationships or polyamory, has slowly crept up into a topic for debate among many. Note that when I say consensual nonmonogamy, this is what I am talking about. I am not talking about cheating which is making boundaries and crossing them anyway or in general disrespecting your relationship by being unfaithful to who you agreed to be in a monogamous, exclusive relationship. As I go right back into r/AskWomen, I will present answers to the question on the discussion thread titled, “What do you think about open relationship or polyamory? How do you respond if your partner want this? Why?”  I have edited some answers for length, clarity, and grammatical correction.


1) “To each their own, but my mind can’t process the idea of my bf penetrating someone else and be okay with it. It hurts my whole body just thinking about it. I would end the relationship if that’s what he wanted”

2) “I think it’s great if all parts involved are ok with it. And I mean really ok with it, not ‘ok I guess if it’s the only way to be with them.’ It’s not for me, though. It would be a dealbreaker in a relationship.”

3) “It requires all parties to be honest with themselves even more than each other, and I don’t think a lot of people can handle it even though they think they can. There are people who thrive on it, and absolutely good for them, but I think they’re pretty rare. My answer would be a hard no because I’ve tried that game before and it turned out dumb.”

4) “I would break up with a partner if he wanted that. That’s so the complete opposite of me, and also I’d be super offended and wouldn’t be able to forget it.

5) “Not for me. My girlfriend and I have both agreed that monogamy is a requirement for us, and so if she asked for an open relationship I’d be pretty pissed tbh.”

6) “I actually think I could be open to an open relationship if it was just sex. We would have to have a discussion about it and lay out clear ground rules, but I don’t think of sex as something so precious/intimate that can only be between two people in a relationship. I completely believe you can have sex without emotional attachment. Polyamory doesn’t interest me though, if you mean having a relationship with more than one person. I feel like the level of intimacy isn’t something I could cope with for more than one person.”

7) “I’m way too low-key jealous for this. I think it’s an ok thing; been with somebody (casually) who had multiple GFs and didn’t care, but my SO is just for me. Besides, I can’t handle more than one person (nor can he).”

8) “I was in a poly relationship. Time management is an issue, so is communication but hey that’s true for monogamous people as well.”

9) “Not for me or my partner. We tried having an open relationship for a very brief period of time and it just didn’t work for us. If he changed his mind, it would be a marriage ending situation. No hate to people that do have those kinds of relationships, though.”

10) I think people should do what is right for their relationship. I’ve tried the poly thing, I dated this really great couple, but he was way more into me than she was and it just felt like I was intruding on their relationship, so I ended it with them. I’m currently in a monogamous relationship, and that’s what I prefer.”

Cosette Nelson


Hello! I am a student at SCAD’s Atlanta campus studying for a B.F.A. in sequential art. I am a staff writer for SCAD ATL’s HerCampus chapter and I write opinion-based articles based around current news, pop culture, mental health, and intersectional feminism. If you have any suggestions for article ideas, email me at [email protected]
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