Kamila Morell and Nelson Schwarz engagement. Image courtesy of Kamila Morell.
Nowadays with more and more people waiting to get married until their early-to-mid thirties, it’s become unusual for adults to tie the knot or even slip on an engagement ring in college. Thoughts of relationship commitment or settling down spook most collegiates who view their twenties as a time to travel, study and practice carefree dating. That’s what makes rising SCAD Atlanta senior Kamila Morell so fascinating. This 23-year-old fashion marketing and management major not only got engaged before receiving her degree, but has been dating her husband-to-be for over ten years! We caught up with Kamila to hear her views on college engagement and marriage in your early twenties, and why she felt it was the right time to make this gigantic lifestyle change.
Emme Raus: How did you meet and fall in love with your fiancé Nelson Schwarz?
Kamila Morell: I met Nelson on my first day of first grade in 1999 in Puerto Rico. I was instantly in love and convinced (crazily, somehow) that he was going to be my husband. I never told anyone in school, only my family knew about my love for this kid in my class. Then in eighth grade, he suddenly took a liking to me when we were both thirteen and, like most teenage couples, the transition to “officially a couple” was very quick. I was extremely happy; after eight years secretly loving this guy, we were finally together. Nevertheless, it took us both by surprise very early on in the relationship when we realized how much we loved each other. We thought calling our feelings “puppy love” was insulting, and quickly started using the term “soulmates” for each other. It was during this beginning period that we also realized that this was it: we were going to get married someday. Fast forward to our nineth anniversary when Nelson visited me in Atlanta with the intention of spending our anniversary together — though this was also a cover up for his proposal plans. On Nov 2, 2015 he took me to Callaway Gardens outside of Atlanta. Near a lake clearing, he gave me a few romantic gifts and words, and at the end he “forgot one other gift” and took out a pink flower with a pink ring laced through. I can’t exactly remember the speech he was giving while on one knee, but it was still perfect and surreal.
ER: How did you know you were ready for marriage?
KM: I never questioned if I was ready for marriage. It was a feeling I got when I was five years-old and has never left me: I just want to be married to Nelson. However, we did plan our life to be “ready for marriage” and are waiting until he finishes college in Puerto Rico and is able to move to Atlanta to officially end our long-distance life and start a new one together.
Kamila and Nelson’s third grade class picture. Kamila is wearing the red bandana and Nelson is sporting dual Peace Signs. Image courtesy of Kamila Morell.
ER: How are you handling planning a wedding on top of school, jobs, homework etc.? What sort of wedding tasks are you and Nelson trying to put together (ceremony, guest list, music, food etc.)?
KM: I started planning our wedding in high school and have not really stopped. Only now I can actually put those plans into action. Honestly, after he proposed I got very distracted with “official wedding planning” and spent hours obsessing over it. But during winter break, when I went back to Puerto Rico and we could discuss wedding details together something unexpected happened: we decided to do an elopement instead of a wedding. So in many ways the planning is now much much much more simple and feels more like planning a small vacation than a big party. Actually, most of the details are already in place and we still have over 200 days until the wedding. Since it’s going to be in Acadia National Park, we were relieved of the burden (and expenses) of planning details like music, flowers, table rentals and so on. To us it seems like the most beautiful and magical place to have the ceremony. Other than that planning has been very easy; we’ve had the same vision since the beginning.
ER: How did your family and friends react to your engagement?
KM: Both of our parents were very happy for us, but it didn’t take them by surprise. Everyone knew we were going to get married. But after talking about it for almost ten years, our family and friends were more surprised with the fact that it finally happened.
Kamila’s engagement ring. Image courtesy of Kamila Morell.
ER: How do people you know react when you tell them you’re engaged in college?
KM: Most people have been very supportive of the union, some of the friction we have encountered has more to do with people just thinking of our age rather than considering time as a couple. The way I see it, by the time many couples have been together for a decade they already got married, have a mortgage, a kid in elementary school and a toddler learning to talk. It’s our time to start a life together now. People outside our circle of friends and family have a lot to say to me about getting married. There is a lot of unsolicited and outdated advice, where it feels like society wants to keep me in check as a wife that is going to support its patriarchal ways like what my duties as a wife should be. At first these types of interactions made me go quiet, but more and more they feel like opportunities to voice my reality and stand up for my feminist views on marriage (no I won’t take his last name, perhaps neither will our kids. He can make his own sandwich if he’s hungry, and I probably won’t wear white on the marriage day).
ER: Do you think collegiates should be getting engaged/married in college?
KM: After having so many relationship conventions and restrictions imposed upon us for being “too young,” I think that getting married is a very personal decision and if the couple is able to make that decision for themselves, rather than succumbing to external pressures, then that is what matters most.