It's a Cruel Cruel Curly World: 10 Quirky Curly Hair Moments

 

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

A bad hair day comes and goes but for those who are blessed with quirky curls, awkward hair moments can be regular occurrences. As a curly-haired girl I thought sharing some of these moments would be informative and entertaining for those who can and cannot relate. 

1.Who needs pockets when you have curls?

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

Hermione Granger and Mary Poppins had bags that held everything; you have hair that holds everything, minus the kitchen sink. Forget dangly earrings, bobby pins and the 90s chopstick hair trick. Once it’s in there, it’s there to stay. The real trick is remembering to take it out!

2. It’s not a salon; it’s your bathroom!

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

In a pathetic attempt to tame, train and restrain your tresses, every available space on your counter is taken up by mousses, gels, waxes, crèmes and serums all promising commercial worthy curls (spoiler alert: those aren’t natural!). Your straight-haired friends can’t help but attempt to read each label when they visit.

3. When it rains it poofs…

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

So you forgot to check the weather before going out. No amount of anti-humidity, frizz-free, max hold, extra strength, adjective-labeled can of pressurized glue can save you.

4. You wash your hair how often?

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

Although you go through conditioner twice as fast as other girls, you spend less time washing your hair. This fun fact grosses out your friends and family that don’t live with curls. Never mind attempting to explain what happens if it’s washed daily.

5. Run a brush through that!

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

This phrase is one every mother tells her daughter (or son). Never mind what “running” a brush through your curls will do to your hair, be prepared to buy a new brush.

6. It’s not THAT bad, just wear a hat.

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

Getting a bad hair-cut for anyone is mortifying. When you have curls and something goes wrong, nothing can hide the disaster. Wearing a hat can only cover the top not the sides that inevitably have become a triangle. If you’re a ginger, beware; people might think you’re a traffic sign.

7. Aren’t you too old for scrunchies?

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

Umm … no. It maybe an 80s fad for pre-pubescent girls but it’s the only thing that can safely secure your hair and be removed without having to be cut out. You're always buying them in bulk because they disappear and it’s always the last one that breaks.

8. Long flowing curls are fiction!

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

Romance novel covers are perfect for showing that long-flowing curly tresses are 100 percent fantasy. It’s not the shirtless highlander riding bareback on a stallion that you have a problem with. It’s the cliché buxom beauty next to him, you know the one, with her goddess figure graced with a halo of curls cascading down her back. In reality, your curls are closer to Medusa’s snakes than Aphrodite’s waves.

9. You should wear your hair straight more, it’s prettier that way.

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

The dreaded backhanded compliment that people don’t realize the level of insult that is spewing from their mouths. Never mind that the final “perfection” they’re seeing won’t last half as long as the hours it took to do. When this happens you give a tight smile and "thank you," all the while thinking you’d prefer that this person would tape their mouth shut.

10. Oh excuse me, but it’s just so pretty!

Illustration courtesy of Chel Howard.

The cardinal rule of curly hair is that after styling you don’t touch it again. This prevents frizz and protects your curl shape. You don’t touch your curls, you don’t let people you KNOW touch your curls, but of course, complete strangers naturally feel free to pat, pull and caress your locks with or without asking.