Breakups are tough. We already knew that. Even those that aren’t interested in relationships can for the most part agree that loving someone then eventually losing them is hard. However, sometimes when you get dumped you decide to be petty enough in an attempt to have the upper hand of the breakup, the last word per se. So for a hilarious read to get through the end of the week while you might be going through a breakup yourself or just enoy petty drama, I have found answers to a post on Reddit AskWomen that asks various users, “What is the pettiest thing you have done after a breakup?” Answers are anonymous, some shorted for length and clarity.
1) “He always spoke about how he hated his dad for cheating & lying to his mom, so when I find out he cheated on me with multiple women I went to his apartment and found a photo of us on his bedside table & wrote ‘Just like your daddy’ on it. I also took all his toilet paper & hand soap because even though he was the 25 year old man with a job & I was a 19 year old college student he apparently couldn’t buy his own s*** & I had to buy it for him. So technically it was mine.”
2) “Found out my ex had cheated on me (and in a really disrespectful way). His b-day was coming up and he knew I had gotten him a really fancy watch; I was planning on having it engraved. Gave it to his weed man with the agreement that he could have it for free if he promised to wear it every time my ex came over. I still get random texts from the ex about seeing that watch.”
3) “He repeatedly cheated on me with multiple women so I had my pregnant roommate pee on a test and then just dropped it at his front door. No note, no way to know who it came from. The panic was real.”
4) “I waited until fifteen minutes before the new season of Game Of Thrones started to change the password on my HBO account that I knew he was still using.”
5) “I still use my exes phone number for his Walgreens card. He’s so stingy I know he’ll never redeem any of his points so I randomly get $5/$10 off at Walgreens.”
6) “I sent my ex a glitter bomb anonymously a few months ago. Felt real good. It was an awful, awful breakup and I never want to speak to him again. This way, I didn’t have to, and I still got to mildly inconvenience him!”
7) “I went to a Panera bread after hours and acquired 3 trash bags of bagels and threw them at his house.”
8) “I spent our year together wearing flats because he was self-conscious that he was slightly shorter than me. When we broke up, I bought the tallest, sexiest heels I could find and wore them to a mutual friend’s party. The look on his face when I arrived towering over him was priceless.”
9) “I broke up with him after being treated badly for too long. He kept sending me vicious emails when I wouldn’t answer his calls. I responded describing a fake new boyfriend who goes down on me at least 20 mins at a time, in Comic Sans font. He was a graphic designer and would rant about how bad that font is on occasion. He knew it was intentional.”
10) “He cheated. I told his mother.”