Let’s talk about jealousy in friendships and why certain friendships can make us jealous. This is something I’ve struggled with for many years and it’s something I feel a lot of people, including college students, go through. People go through this in their own way and it’s totally normal. Those people who get jealous of a certain friend become the “Green-Eyed Friend.”
Let’s start this off with the term jealousy, which refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions. Emotions that associate with jealousy include anger, resentment, inadequacy, disgust, helplessness, loneliness, and sometimes fear. People would say that jealousy is more of a negative emotion, but others like myself would say it can motivate a person’s self-growth. Jealousy is a part of us and always will be. We feel jealousy at work, at school, and just in so many scenarios. But why do we feel jealousy when it comes to our friends?
We feel this sort of jealousy because perhaps we have the fear of losing someone who means a lot to us. I’ve felt this type of jealousy with all of my best friends over the years. The cause of it is usually because one friend is suddenly getting closer with someone else, most likely being another friend of ours. It’s hard to share your best friend with another close friend. You get left out of a conversation and you try to jump in but sometimes you have a hard time figuring out what to say. They share inside jokes, secrets, and hobbies/interests that perhaps you can’t relate to. We feel left out from them and began to feel jealous of their relationship.
I always believed that a friend group of three would usually be tricky because one friend tends to get closer with another friend and the third friend gets left out. I’m usually the third friend that is being left out. I would say that this kind of jealousy brings out my competitive side because I try to do everything in my power to show my best friend that I’m just as great as the other friend. It’s silly, but it does show how much a person cares about that friend. However, it can be rude and disrespectful if a person is trying to sabotage a friendship. I never want to do that. I would rather just be included and treated the same.
I think it is important to get along and talk with both friends as much as you can so you don’t feel left out. If you’re in a three-person friend group and you sometimes feel left out because two of your friends are getting closer, associate with them more. If you are still feeling left out, talk to one or both of those friends about it. It’s important to speak up if you are feeling underappreciated and left out of the group. Even if it is ridiculous, admit your jealousy. Your friends will understand. Just know that if it continues to happen, even after confronting them, you should leave the friendship.
The Green-Eyed Friend is innocent and only wants the love and respect from their close friends. I’ll admit that I tend to be that kind of friend, but it;s because I desire the friendship I’ve held onto for a long time. Jealousy in friendships is a common friend problem and can be resolved with simply communicating and reasoning.