Photo courtesy of DePaul.
It still terrifies me to walk past a group of men, especially if I’m alone and the streets are relatively empty. There have been too many tragedies — to the average woman, celebrities, minorities, children and adults alike — for me to feel safe. It’s as if I’m an animal, guarded by a thin and dilapidated cage, from these men who could have both kind or insidious intentions. And as safe as we all want to believe we are amongst friends, roaming around a security-guarded college campus, rape still happens. It is a threat that follows us regardless of who or where we are. I imagine being violated is one of the most crippling events that can happen to a person’s life. And truly, I hope the following information will help keep readers safe.
Photo courtesy of Alliance Energy Group.
Where it Happens:
Dangerous places don’t always have to be isolated, late night alleyways. They can be the daylight-flooded rooms of an office building, the loading dock of a supermarket or the boisterous floors of a nightclub. Rapists look only for comfort, access to victims and the ability to make a fast escape. The most common places where these crimes occur include: grocery store and office parking lots, public restrooms and victim’s homes. Try not to park next to vans as these can be the hideouts of rapists looking to pull you into their vehicle at the first possible opportunity. Take taxis with friends and always lock all the doors, windows and other possible entry points to your home and car.
Photo courtesy of Independant.
What He/She Could Look Like:
Generally, but not always, rapists are in their early 30’s, white, and about a fifth of them are married. Over 80 percent of these crimes are carried out by someone the victim knew and 25 percent of the time it is the very victim’s partner who engages in the forceful act. I would recommend being especially careful at clubs and parties where drugs can be slipped into drinks or food. The presence of alcohol only worsens the odds seeing as one third of crimes involve drinking or doing drugs. Despite these facts, it is impossible to tell you what an offender looks like. They can be normal, well spoken people very much unlike the dark and ominous appearance we usually associate with them. Rapists can be of any race and of any class.
How to Stay Safe:
Everybody will respond differently in this situation. It is one full of fear, threats and force. I’m fortunate enough never to have been in a situation where I felt violated but 25 percent of college women will be. When a man makes you feel as if you’re in danger, don’t be afraid to act defensively and put up a fight. Usually rapists want easy victims and will automatically be discouraged if they see that you’ll try to defend yourself.
There’s no way to dress or style your hair that will lessen your odds of being a victim. Most rapists admit that they couldn’t remember or even cared what the victim looked like. To them, they were easy prey and that’s all they needed to know. Don’t warn the offender if you have a weapon or else they will try to take it from you. Use the element of surprise to your advantage.
No matter how much precaution you take, you will never be able to 100 percent ensure your safety, although this information will greatly help. The most important thing to remember though is rape is never the victim’s fault. You shouldn’t be ashamed to seek help afterwards — be it from the police, friends, family or a therapist.
If you have anything you’d like to share regarding sexual assault safety tips please feel free to leave a comment below or learn more by checking out the “No Means No” campaign website.