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Dear Anybody Currently Alive, Stop Pumpkin Spicing Everything

As November has approached us today, we are currently in the midst of experiencing yet another fall season as the weather gets colder, the smells of leaves are permeating the air, and we consume more caramel and apple cider than we usually do throughout the year. Without question, fall is a beautiful season and the sight of coloured leaves wherever you go is a delight. And this is what I’m simply stating here, there’s certain things that make the autumn season what it is and why we enjoy it. Oh, and Starbucks’ pumpkin spice lattés are overrated.

Before the pumpkin spice lovers start gathering pitchforks and torches against my door, let me explain. Personally, I’m not too big of a pumpkin person in general, but that’s just me. From what I’ve found while looking for material to write about this week, I notice that even the biggest pumpkin fanatics find the oversaturation of pumpkin spice in our market too much to tolerate. I remember in high school, all throughout, many girls (typically girls) squealed about nothing but the pumpkin spice lattés. That itself is fine, let them have it. However, I notice that ever since the drink’s popularity restaurants and grocery stores are trying to catch up to the publicity by putting pumpkin spice into anything and everything they can. It’s so obnoxious that it’s more nauseating than the oversaturation of comic book films in the movie industry for about over ten years now. I will list the following things that I have seen with a pumpkin spice label that was automatically made worse by that addition:

Pumpkin spice hummus

First off, WHY?! I have personally seen this while grocery shopping and when I saw this I might have actually visibly cringed when I saw this. Hummus is a delicious spread that can be used as a dip or used in sandwiches, but this is beyond an abomination and a reminder that our society let this happen.

Pumpkin spice vodka

You can try to taste the pumpkin spice but it’ll still taste like alcohol, so good luck with that.

Pumpkin spice soap

Most people would agree that people use soap just to clean themselves in the shower, but I didn’t think it was somebody’s actual wish to smell like a blonde Uggs-wearing white girl who just stepped out of the Starbucks nearby.

Pumpkin spice air freshener

Yes, because somebody out there wanted to have their home smell like the above. Neat.

Pumpkin spice candy corn

Look, candy corn itself is very polarising. However, can candy corn lovers and haters agree that this is just beyond redundant?

Pumpkin spice chicken sausage

As a pescetarian, anything with chicken and sausage let alone chicken sausage itself lightly repulses me, but this just makes me not want to eat lunch now.

Pumpkin spice pasta

Who actually wanted this?

Pumpkin spice pasta sauce

…I guess those who saw this product?

If you just simply enjoy anything pumpkin or a pumpkin spice latté, fine. I will lightly judge you, but as long as you don’t enable this kind of insanity then we at least we can have that middle ground.

 

Cosette Nelson

SCAD ATL '20

Hello! I am a student at SCAD’s Atlanta campus studying for a B.F.A. in sequential art. I am a staff writer for SCAD ATL’s HerCampus chapter and I write opinion-based articles based around current news, pop culture, mental health, and intersectional feminism. If you have any suggestions for article ideas, email me at askcosettehercampus@gmail.com
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