The new year has graced us with its presence once again, yet many of us are still feeling the effects of what happened in 2016, or even before. In honor of o HC at SCAD ATL’s 2017 goal of developing a healthy lifestyle and growing in the ability to love ourselves, I would like to discuss a few ideas on how to make a fresh start, using the unique music drama Begin Again, starring Keira Knightly (Gretta James) and Mark Ruffalo (Dan Mulligan) as the backdrop. Now, we can all learn how to master the art of moving on together.
1. Take time to look back & maybe even mourn a bit
In the movie, Gretta James watches old videos of her former SO (played by Adam Levine) and their great times together, as she allows herself to feel how much it hurt for her love to choose someone else. For many, the inability to move forward lies somewhere behind them. Feeling your emotions is a super healthy first step. One of the best ways to get back to that emotional place is to either journal or to look back at videos, letters, pictures. Perhaps you put your whole heart into a relationship that ended, you lost your job or you may have even lost a loved one. Regardless of when or why you felt pain, looking back helps you to acknowledge that something happened that hurt you, but also to start to process through it.
2. Process Artistically
In the movie, Gretta writes multiple songs, which spring straight from the depths of her heart. She then turns this genuine emotion into an album. This could be easily translated into other art forms, like painting, photography, design, film, other forms of writing, cooking, etc. Artists are excellent craftsmen in the processing of life. As writer Clive Barker says, “Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep.” The process of making art may help to bring resolution or understanding into the situation as well.
3. Examine your strengths
If you just had a major loss, now is a great time for you to mine life for what is below the surface. In the movie, Gretta knew she could write music, but never considered herself a recording artist, but with a little encouragement from some friends, she went out on a limb and decided to play at an open-mic night, which turned out to be quite the serendipitous happening. Every one of us is born with a set of desires, talents, natural passions; it’s up to us to dig a little to get to them. What are your strengths? What is your passion? Who do you have to lean on (friends, family)? These will give you a road map that will help you know where you want to go.
4. Let your friends in
Who knows where Gretta, (the girl in love who comes from Britain to be with her man who makes it big in the music industry, who breaks up with her for a new recording artist) would have been without her friends? Luckily she had one who lived right inside the city. After the break up, she sought out friendship for consolation; her best friend became her new cheerleader. It’s so important to have friends, but it matters even more that we let them into our reality. Often when it comes to these hard parts of our lives, we can isolate ourselves either to not bring others down or to avoid pain. But truly, that is why we have friends. Well, good friends. Some friends, I get it, are there for the fun times. It takes a real friend to be there in the rough, emotional times. To get to the place of strong friendship, you have first be a little vulnerable and honest. If something is eating you up inside, you’ve got to share it with your safe person. Another great way Gretta could lean on the strength of her friends came when she was getting to know her new producer. They went on a super cute friend date where they used a splitter cord to listen to each other’s playlists as they walked through the city together. They both learned about one other and could get out of their heads using music. My favorite quote comes from Mulligan in this scene: “One of the most banal scenes is suddenly invested with so much meaning! All these banalities – they’re suddenly turned into these…these beautiful, effervescent pearls. From Music.”
5. Invest in someone else
In the movie, Gretta offers a sage womanly word of advice and helps Mulligan’s high school-aged daughter. It became a major upgrade for her, while being a super simple piece of advice on Gretta’s part. There are people or even organizations that would greatly benefit from your perspective and the lessons you have learned in life. The things that you know can be quite an education for someone younger. Maybe consider a project that directly benefits someone else, even if you feel a little insecure. I guarantee you will learn something from it.
6. Say goodbye
There comes a point at the end of the movie when Gretta is invited by her ex to his show, where he features the songs she wrote for him. As she realizes that he changes it to be a crowd-pleasing version, she decides that she would rather not go there again. Of course, “saying goodbye” is more symbolic than anything else, but you know when it’s time to let go and go your own direction. After having acknowledged the past and processed it, now is the time to let it go and turn the page in a sense. For Gretta, it happened at this point. You will likely know when it is the right time for you.
7. Take a risk doing something new
At some point, you have to move on. Again, you’ll know when it’s time. Often this step comes with a new direction or decision. Sometimes the vision you have won’t line up with others who come around during this time and you have the option to go in a new direction. Gretta, a poet and genuine musician, had the option to either go with a record label that was not that into her before they saw $$$ signs or to simply release her music for herself. This was a risk that not many would have taken, but it became apparent that she needed to choose for herself. Ultimately, we do choose the direction we take, whether it is from outside pressure or our own hearts. All I can say is, girl (or boy), do what you want. Go with your gut. Be honest-don’t sell yourself out, trust me, you are worth it.
I hope these keys were helpful to you and that this year is the one where your life takes a new, exciting turn in the direction of your deepest dreams! All of us process in different ways with different needs; so, here’s wishing you the best in yours. Happy Journey, loves.