Rupi Kaur is an Indian-born Canadian writer, poet, and performer. She is well known for her work such as Milk and Honey which was published in 2014 and The Sun and Her Flowers which was published in 2017. Today I am specifically going to focus on the former. Milk and Honey is a collection of usually-short poetry and prose. After it was published, it sold over 2.5 million copies worldwide and spent a little over a year on The New York Times Best Seller list.
Image Courtesy of ColgateMaroonNews
My personal feelings aside, Milk and Honey is an anthology of poetry and prose about the main theme of survival. It is divided into four segments: The Hurting, The Loving, The Breaking, and The Healing. Each chapter serves a different purpose as they explore themes such as violence, abuse, love, loss, and feminity. Other themes that are delved into involve triggering topics such as sexual assault, family trouble, and heartbreak. Kaur also breaks the traditional rules of poetry while also jumping back and forth inbetween first and second person pronouns as well as having a direct style.
These pages that I’ve selected (in no particular order of which is better) are what I personally feel are biting yet oddly beautiful in a way that it stings into me really hard as most of these I’ve dealt with in my so-far short life. If I’m being honest, coping with any recent problems I’ve ever had would have been much faster and easier had I read this earlier. Nevertheless if there’s anything I can thank Kaur for it’s the bittersweetness of being able to help heal at a more even pace even after I’ve lost close friends, relationships, and lost touch with people who I should’ve never been abandoned by.
Warning: Some of these excerpts deal with triggering topics such as rape, abuse, and trauma. Read at your own risk.
1) Page 19, “The Hurting”
“every time you
tell your daughter
you yell at her
out of love
you teach her to confuse
anger with kindness
which seems like a good idea
till she grows up to
trust men who hurt her
cause they look so much
like you
–to fathers with daughters”
2) Page 23, “The Hurting”
“the idea that we are
so capable of love
but still choose
to be toxic”
3) Page 36, “The Hurting”
“our knees
pried open
by cousins
and uncles
and men
our bodies touched
by all the wrong people
that even in a bed full of safety
we are afraid”
4) Page 55, “The Loving”
“i am learning
how to love him
by loving myself”
5) Page 86, “The Breaking”
“he only whispers i love you
as he slips his hands
down the waistband
of your pants
this is where you must
understand the difference
between want and need
you may want that boy
but you certainly
don’t need him”
6) Page 108, “The Breaking”
“you were the most beautiful thing i’d ever felt till now. and i was convinced you’d remain the most beautiful thing i’d ever feel. do you know how limiting that it. to think that at such a ripe young age i’d experienced the most exhilarating person i’d ever meet. how i’d spend the rest of my life just settling . to think i’d tasted the rawest form of honey and everything else would be refined and synthetic. that nothing beyond this point would add up. that all the years beyond me could not combine themselves to be sweeter than you.”
7) Page 119, “The Breaking”
“you are snakeskin
and i keep shedding you somehow
my mind is forgetting
every exquisite detail
of your face
the letting go has
become the forgetting
which is the most
pleasant and saddest thing
to have happened”
8) Page 120, “The Breaking”
“you were not wrong for leaving
you were wrong for coming back
and thinking
you could have me
when it was convenient
and leave when it was not”
9) Page 132, “The Breaking”
“i am confident i am over you. so much that some mornings i wake up with a smile on my face and my hands pressed together thanking the universe for pulling you out of me. thank god i cry. thank god you left. i would not be the empire i am today if you had stayed,
but then.
there are some nights i imagine what i might do if you showed up. how if you walked into the room this very second every awful thing you’ve ever dne would be tossed out the closet window and all the love would rise up again. it would pour through my eyes as if it never really left in the first place. as if it’s been practicing how to stay silent so long only so it could be this loud on your arrival. can someone explain that. how even when the love leaves. it doesn’t leave. how even when i am so past you. i am so helplessly brought back to you.”
10) Page 139, “The Breaking”
“you leave
but you don’t stay gone
why do you do that
why do you
abandon the thing you want to keep
why do you linger
in a place you do not want to stay
why do you think it’s okay to do both
go and return all at once”
11) Page 141, “The Breaking”
“that is the thing about selfish people. they gamble entire beings. entire souls to please their own. once second they are holding you like the world in your lap and the next they have belittled you to a mere picture. a moment. something of the past. one second. they swallow you up and whisper they want to spend the rest of their life with you. but the moment they sense fear. they are already halfway out the door. without the nerve to let you go with grace. as if the human heart means that little to them.
and after all this. after all of the taking. the nerve. isn’t it sad and funny how people have more guts these days to undress you with their fingers than they do to pick up the phone and call. apologize. for the loss. and this is how you lose her.
– selfish”
12) Page 151, “The Healing”
“accept that you deserve more
than painful love
life is moving
the healthiest thing
for your heart is
to move with it”
13) Page 164. “The Healing”
“you tell me
i am not like most girls
and learn to kiss me with your eyes closed
something about the phrase—something about
how i have to be unlike the women
i call sisters in order to be wanted
makes me want to spit your tongue out
like i am supposed to be proud you picked me
as if i should be relieved you think
i am better than them”
14) Page 177, “The Healing”
“apparently it is ungraceful of me
to mention my period in public
cause the actual biology
of my body is too real
it is okay to sell what’s
between a woman’s legs
more than it is okay to
mention its inner workings
the recreational use of
this body is seen as
beautiful while
its nature is
seen as ugly”
15) Page 179, “The Healing”
“i want to apologize to all the women
i have called pretty
before i’ve called them intelligent of brave
i am sorry i made it sound as though
something as simple as what you’re born with
is the most you have to be proud of when your
spirit has crushed mountains
from now on i will say things like
you are resilient or you are extraordinary
not because i don’t think you’re pretty
but because you are so much more than that”