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SBU | Life

You Aren’t Falling Behind

Courtney Cianflone Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Lately, I can’t help but feel like I am falling behind. A lot of my friends have jobs on or around campus, plenty of money, their own cars, and such an easy time with school. I don’t have any of that. I am only 19, but I feel like I should be much further along in life. I have not developed the same sense of responsibility that my peers have. I have different priorities. In fact, I can’t even truly pinpoint what my priorities are. I am all over the place. One day, I decide my priority is school, the next it’s being healthy, and the next, it’s self-care. Everyone around me seems to have a set priority, and they are thriving in it. I feel so much envy for those who are developing “adult” tendencies when I don’t even know where to begin. Even my little sister, who is only 16, seems to have her life more together than I do. She knows exactly what she wants to do in her occupational life and is already on the path to thriving in that career. I don’t even know if I like my major. I feel disappointed in myself. How could I come to college with no idea of what I want to do and who I want to be? It’s a feeling of isolation; I don’t feel like I belong because I feel less successful than my peers. It’s a tough feeling to navigate. I can’t imagine how anyone can have themselves figured out.

I don’t know who I am yet. I’m sure a lot of people my age don’t know who they are either. We are all just good at hiding it. Being unsure is part of being a college student. None of us truly know what we’re doing. We don’t even know what life is yet. I put so much pressure on myself to know what I’m doing all the time. Instead of motivating me, it pushes me backward, and piling on top of the pressure I put on myself is the pressure from the rest of the world. It is expected of college students to have themselves figured out and to have their lives on a clear path. It has become abundantly clear that the expectations set for me by the rest of the world are simply unachievable, and I need to find peace with that. To anyone reading this, whatever is eating away at you, whatever you can’t figure out, it will be okay. You will figure it out. You will thrive, whether you believe it now or not. You’re not falling behind. You are exactly where you need to be. 

Courtney Cianflone

SBU '28

Courtney Cianflone is a sophomore and returning member of the Her Campus at St.Bonaventure University. She loves to write about her learning experiences and personal a anecdotes to relate to and connect with other girls! Women's empowerment has always been something that she held close to her heart. Courtney has always been an advocate for women, especially those who do not always have the confidence to speak up on their own.

Courtney is studying marketing at St.Bonaventure University and Her Campus is her favorite part of college. Outside of Her Campus, she has been accepted into the Chamber Singers, a select choir on campus.

Outside of campus, Courtney enjoys playing guitar and singing. Music has always been a big part of her life. She also loves spending quality time with friends and family. Her Campus has helped her to have a place to write while being part of a wonderful sisterhood.