You Are Not Obligated

Peer pressure influences many things you endure throughout your life. However, the question we refuse to answer or forget to answer is why do we feel obligated to give in to these norms, people and/or outside forces that negatively impact our lives? Don’t get me wrong, sometimes a little peer pressure can be good because it allows us to break out of our shell and into a better us.

Though, I forward this question to the envious, backstabbing, manipulating and self-hating people out there. What makes your opinion so important to make people drastically change the way they act, think, talk, speak and live? I say absolutely nothing. It may be hard to believe, but these people aren’t important at all. They are only there to feed off our energy and once they are done with us, they leave, like parasites. In the end they make us appreciate the little things we once hated about ourselves. The stretch marks on our body, the cellulite on the back of our legs, the pimples that make us hide our face and more. In this situation, self-love is one of your best friends because it allows you to love yourself enough to not feed into or be tempted to engage in negative behavior. Self-love can consist of learning to love your body and the things you might not necessarily like/love about yourself.

In addition to loving yourself you should also stand by your views on things, unless it does you or someone/something harm. However, if you have certain views and opinions on something, you should always educate yourself regardless of the fact. Educating yourself is beneficial because it can broaden your mindset, give you additional information and could potentially change your opinion on the subject. For example, many people believe that if a person you are seeing sleeps over at your place, (dorm, house, apartment, etc.) and it’s not the first time they have, you are obligated to have sex with them. Personally, I think that is a coerced thought because you shouldn’t have to do anything you are uncomfortable with.

Also, if you agreed to do something with that person, you have the right to say I don’t want to do this anymore, allowing you to take back your consent to do that action, this is called reverse consent. Anything you are uncomfortable doing, you don’t have to do unless you want. No one should ever have to go through something like that.

Lastly, don’t ever force someone to do something they don’t want to do, especially if you wouldn’t want it to happen to you.

If you are or know someone who is in a position like this make sure to reach out to a doctor, police, friend or emergency hotline that corresponds to the action you need help with.

Coerced - The act of unwillingly doing something or having something done against your will.

Reverse Consent - The act of giving a verbal yes (consent) to have or do an action then taking that confirmation away.