Yell Across The Street – Even If Its Uncomfortable

My first year of college started how pretty much everyone’s does. I had about a week where I struggled, then this girl asked me to go to the gym. I then planned a game night, and the next day I had a whole group of friends. I thought these girls would be with me for the next four years, but I slowly learned that a majority of my freshman year friend group had decided not to come back to St. Bonaventure in the fall. 

I crashed out, hard.

I got trapped in this downward spiral of feeling bad for myself. St. Bonaventure had started to feel like home. I thought I had finally met my people, but now it just felt like nothing ever went my way, and I didn’t know if this was in the right place for me.  

I contemplated transferring, but that didn’t feel right. I realized I didn’t hate Bonaventure; I hated the situation I was in. 

I came to terms with the fact that I can control my own situation. If I don’t like where I’m at right now, I have to put in the work to change it. 

I stopped feeling bad for myself. It’s easy to look at my peers and feel alone, because it seems like you’re the only one who’s falling apart and has nothing figured out. I gradually came to the realization that I’m not alone. More people around me than I realized were dealing with similar things. 

I promised myself I’d go into the semester with an open mind. I needed to be willing to put myself out there and be patient. 

I told myself if fall break came around, and nothing changed, then I could consider leaving. 

I learned it’s okay to be alone. This was and still is terrifying. I’ve always been someone who likes to be surrounded by people. To my surprise, I got more from losing my inner circle than I lost.

I had to stop comparing my life to others and learn that it’s okay to not have a huge group of friends around. It was difficult, at first, it felt like I was missing out, but slowly I realized that the comfort I got from a group of friends was the very thing making me miss out.

I came into this semester focused on myself. I put myself in uncomfortable situations, ones I never would have a year ago. I joined Her Campus even though I wasn’t close with anyone else involved. I made it a point to talk to the people in my classes that I didn’t know. None of this was comfortable, but that’s what made the difference. 

The first weekend of the year, I yelled across the street and asked these girls I assumed were heading to the same place I was, if they wanted to walk with me. In doing this, I gained a friendship. 

Typically, this isn’t something I would do, but I stepped out of my comfort zone and turns out if I didn’t, I would still be in the same place I was in August.  

Fast-forward to today, we are almost at fall break. I can confidentially say I’m happy I didn’t transfer. 

Some days I wish things were different, but I know things tend to happen for a reason. Over the past five weeks, I’ve gained so much. Realizing that being uncomfortable isn’t a bad thing allowed me to find a new level of confidence and independence, and in this I have grown so much as an individual. 

The great part about putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation is that it won’t be uncomfortable for forever. I know things are going to fall into place for me, I just have to keep being willing to yell across the street. 

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