Growing up, I was always jealous of the girls in my class who had an older sister. Someone to braid their hair, someone to teach them how to do makeup, and someone to tell them that everything would be okay. I never really considered the fact that my younger siblings would actually teach me more than an older sibling ever could; they have taught me confidence, patience, and how to be a role model.
I am the oldest of three children. I have a younger brother and sister. When my mom told me she was having a baby, I think I was really just hoping that it would be a girl. Lucky for me, it was. My younger sister and I grew up in somewhat of a hostile way: pulling each other’s hair, starting petty arguments, and stealing each other’s clothes. But when I became a senior in high school, she became my best friend. She taught me to do my makeup, consoled me when I cried, stayed up quizzing me on Spanish vocabulary, and was always down to watch a murder documentary with me. So, coming to college was hard because that meant I would no longer live across the hall from my best friend.Â
I had learned so much from her that I guess I never really considered what she had learned from me. When I went to college, I began to see pieces of myself in her—pieces of myself that I would have never expected she would want to have for herself. She told me she would be taking Spanish as I had, and a few other of my favorite classes as well.
She also FaceTimes me when she’s wearing a hoodie or pair of sweats that I left at home (if I am being honest, the stuff I leave home is intentional. I know she will like the pieces I leave, so I leave them for her). She even called me after her first major heartbreak because she said that she knew I would make her feel better. She always calls me after something amazing happens in her life, or something quite the opposite.
She tells me I give the best advice, and that she wants to be as smart as I am. I never really realized until I left for college that she looked up to me, especially in so many ways. Being an older sister is the best because I get to be a role model for her, and I am proud to be someone she looks up to. If I am being honest, though, I think I may look up to her more than she looks up to me.
My younger sister has always been confident, and she knows what she wants. These are two things I have always struggled with in my own life. I am so hard on myself, and am probably one of the most indecisive people you will ever meet. My sister, on the other hand, is quite the opposite.
Because of her, I have learned that it is okay to speak my mind—even when I am too scared to. I have also learned that I should be confident in myself, since one of the people I admire most seems to admire me as well. She is also smart, funny, and one of the most talented dancers I have ever had the pleasure of watching. She encourages me to be the best at everything that I do, just like she is. Being an older sister is the best because I can look up to someone who looks up to me, too.
My younger brother and I were not very close growing up, but I still love him more than anything in the world. Like my sister, I think our bond grew closer when I went to college. He often calls me to tell me about his day or to complain about the teachers that he has now, but I had years ago (wow, that makes me feel old).
Sometimes he calls me when he needs help with his homework, but we end up laughing over shared inside jokes and talking about our day instead. I would like to think that my younger brother looks up to me, especially since I am the one he asks to help with his English and Spanish homework. He always remarks that I am “so good” at those subjects, so that is why he has decided to call me to help with his work. What he doesn’t know is that I look up to him, too.
My parents divorced when I was a sophomore in high school. Just because I was older didn’t mean that it sucked any less for me, though. I was honestly devastated—I looked around at my friends who went home to the same house every night, and it was hard to hide my jealousy.
My younger brother, though, was so resilient during the whole process. He was brave when I was too afraid to be. He pointed out the “perks” of having divorced parents—two Christmases, two birthdays, two rooms to decorate, and the list goes on. His optimism was something that I needed to get me through the tragedy that was my parents’ divorce. Being an older sister is the best because I still get to see the world through someone who is younger and optimistic—traits that I often lack in myself.
Although I spent so much of my childhood wishing that I had an older sister, I am beginning to realize that being an older sister is the biggest blessing of my life. There is something amazing about being my younger siblings’ “first call.” Whether it’s for advice or for homework help, it doesn’t matter. It is comforting to know that they know I will always be there for them, no matter what. I know that the same goes for them, too. This kind of relationship is something that I will never ever take for granted—it is one of the most important things in my life.Â
I’ve learned that being an older sister isn’t necessarily about being super responsible or perfect, but instead about being given the opportunity to watch my younger siblings grow up and give them the advice that I wish I had. While I would like to hope I have taught them so much, they have taught me even more. They have taught me that growing up with your best friends is fun and that they will love me no matter what.
So, while I used to envy the girls who had an older sister, I can say with confidence that I wouldn’t trade places with them today. Being an older sister has made me who I am today, and more importantly, it’s given me my two best friends.