This semester, I’m taking a course called The Philosophy of Love and Sex. In a nutshell, this course is a deep dive into sex and its moral values. In the first few weeks of the course, we have been talking about what love truly is from the views of the ancient Greek philosophers Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates.Â
Each meaning of love has its own word. They are: eros (erotic love), philia (affectionate love), storge (familiar love), ludus (playful love), mania (manic love), pragma (enduring love), philautia (self-love), and agape (selfless love).Â
After studying these words and what they mean in modern love, it posed the question “What is Love?” in my head.Â
Eros is the way I’d best describe the love that I’ve experienced in the past three to four years. Eros is best described as an erotic form of love. According to the Greeks, this type of love represents sexual passion and desire. They considered it a dangerous form of love due to the impulses that lie within it. Socrates saw Eros as misguided and abused, which can lead to impulsive acts and broken hearts.Â
This type of love isn’t for me.Â
I best associate my romantic love interests with ludus. Ludus is described as a playful form of love that is best used to describe the “honeymoon” phase of a relationship. There is some Eros tied into it, but it’s not the main priority.Â
Ludus is so attractive to me because it’s the parts of the relationship that are fun. You are getting to know your partner and fall in love with them. Think of it like the talking stage in a new relationship. You giggle and kick your feet when you see them but there’s no label on the relationship yet.Â
It’s also been found by the Greeks that this doesn’t tend to last in long-term relationships but we don’t need to talk about that.Â
I think I’m so in love with the thought of ludus because it’s what I crave in a romantic relationship. I don’t seek the erotic portions that come with romance, but the part where my partner is like my best friend.Â
The thing is, I’m not finding that kind of love. Maybe I just haven’t found the right guy or maybe I am asking for too much.Â
This type of thinking has made me think of the fact that I am currently in the prime of my life. I will look back on these feelings and they might not be the same. I may be thinking to myself “wow, someone should have really told me to shut up and sit down” — who knows.
Even with all of these thoughts about love swirling in my head, I still circle back to the overall themes of love, and that is love is what the heart desires.Â