One of the absolute hardest things for me is understanding when to care and not to care. Ever since I was a young girl I have always cared about everyone no matter what. Whether I was friends with a person or not, I still cared if they were having a good or bad day. Some people say they struggle with caring about others, but I struggle with caring too much about others. This is something that has changed completely in the last year for me.
Recently, my best friend Meghan and I have both had different influences in our lives that taught us about caring; both of these being guys. They have taught us many lessons that caused us to think about life differently. We used to care immensely and both of them have taught us that maybe caring about everything is not the best way to live.
In the case of my friend Meghan, she was talking to a guy for a couple of months when he randomly just stopped speaking to her. He basically ghosted her and ruined everything they had. She wanted to care about him but after almost a year she realized the worst thing she could have ever done was care. You cannot care about someone who does not make you a priority. You will lose yourself and that is the worst thing you could possibly do.
The hardest lesson that either of the guys has taught us in the past year is to not care too much about the small things. This was a big adjustment for two girls who care about everything, most of which they have no control over. This has helped me immensely, especially since I have started college. For years I have freaked out about stuff I do not have control over, and that is one of the worst possible things to do. Normally what I do now is care the first time, maybe even have a good cry about it, but the second time, you realize this has happened before. You got through it once so you will get through again.
For the people who want to not care, this advice is for you. Care but pretend you do not care. This mostly goes into effect when it comes to dating or talking to new interests. If someone is not answering you, even though you want to care, you have to pretend like you do not care. Caring about something like that will interrupt your life immensely because you cannot make someone talk to you. You also cannot make someone care. Figuring this out has caused way less stress in my life lately.
Overall, it may seem shallow but what I have learned is to care about what’s gonna matter tomorrow not what’s gonna only matter today. I now base my life on this model because before I would let my personal life get in the way of the other parts, or I would let little things ruin my entire day. I learned to forget this way of life and learned to pretend that I do not care so I can keep myself sane. This is the way of life that works the most for me, however it may not work for the next person. If you find yourself in this situation constantly I recommend trying this lifestyle out and seeing if it is for you.