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To Be Known: What Girls Teach Us About Love

Julia Beardsley Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

“To be loved is to be known.”

It’s the phrase I whisper to myself after another guy I thought might be different turns out to be just like the rest.

“To be loved is to be seen.”

It echoes through our minds when he walks ahead, too caught up in his own world to notice us turn to silence.

“To be loved is to be cherished.”

I say as I lie in bed, watching the hours pass waiting for him to show up, empty handed again.

I have always craved love that feels deep and real. The kind where someone knows your moods, your flaws, and your heart. While romantic love gets all the attention, there is another kind of love that often goes unnoticed, yet it is just as real.

It’s the love between girls. Between best friends. Between the ones who show up, even when the world feels like it’s falling apart.

Having my girls by my side has given me a kind of freedom I didn’t know I needed. I never worry about them judging me or walking away when things get hard. My ‘best girl’ has been the most consistent thing in my life. When I say, “I don’t know what to do,” or “I really messed up,” she’s there ready to listen, help, and love me through it. She’s the first to notice when I go quiet, or when something hits harder than it should.

Female friendships are the backbone of growing up. They’re the first relationship where I learned what unconditional love feels like outside of family. These are the girls who stick with me through every awkward phase of middle school and the unknowns of high school. They’re the ones I text about what color to dye my hair next, how to respond to that Snapchat from the new guy, or how to move on from heartbreak.

I’ve spent years embracing these friendships, and I can say with my whole heart, they’ve made me who I am today.

There were times I thought I was missing something. I spent years chasing romance like I saw in the movies. I always thought I needed a partner to understand me, to make me feel whole. Every time I felt understood, I’d call my best friend, and she’d listen. She’d speak to me in a way that made me feel seen, known, and loved. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize: the love I was searching for had been there all along.

Leaving for college was one of the hardest things I’ve done, not because I didn’t want to go, but because I had to leave my girl. Even though I’ve found new friendships here —two girls who’ve become my favorite people, there are still moments I wish she were here too. No matter how far we go, that kind of raw and real friendship leaves a mark that’s hard to ignore.

So, here’s to the girls who love us like no one else can.

To the ones who show up, speak truth, and love loudly.

To the friendships that remind us; we are already loved, already known, and already cherished.

Julia Beardsley is a new member of the St. Bonaventure Her Campus chapter. She will be publishing articles about her experiences, pop culture, friendship, relationships, social issues, and current events.

Julia is currently a freshman at St. Bonaventure University, majoring in Communication, Social Justice, and Advocacy. Outside of Her Campus, Julia is involved in Empower, SPCA@SBU, and is a member of the Dance Team.
In her free time, Julia loves spending time with friends, thrifting and antiquing, going for walks, and listening to music. She enjoys exploring and discovering new places—whether it's a small café, a hidden boutique, or a scenic spot in the woods.

Social and civil issues are close to Julia's heart, and she strives to stay informed and engage in meaningful conversations with others who share her passion.