I can finally say that I am an award-winning journalist.
The use of the word “finally” might be a little dramatic as I’ve only considered myself a journalist for the last three years, but it has felt like a long time to me, with much blood, sweat and tears behind the effort.
After a very ominous email from the dean of the communications school, I met with him for a “quick chat” and learned I had won an award for my outstanding performance in the journalism curriculum.
Now, this wasn’t a total surprise as I did have to apply for the award, but I was still grateful nonetheless to have been chosen from all the other students that applied.
Applying for the award was a unique form of torture for me because I hate talking about myself. I don’t like to list my accomplishments and try to sell myself to people who already know who I am. The faculty of the communications school chooses the winners, and I’ve had a lot of them as professors already. I didn’t enjoy feeling like I was bragging about all the stuff I’ve done.
However, applying for these awards, strenuous as it was, taught me two things about myself that I had never considered before. And they are things I consider life lessons I’ll carry with me forever.
1. It’s Not Bragging If you’re Just stating a Fact
As mentioned above, I hate talking about myself because it sounds like I’m bragging about how busy I am and how much I’ve done and all the qualifications I have. But then I thought, I did all these things. I’m not bragging, I’m just stating facts about the experiences I’ve had, what I learned from those experiences, and how those experiences changed me as a person.
If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s listening to someone complain about how busy they are.
WE GET IT! WE’RE ALL BUSY ALL THE TIME.
And so that line of thinking extended to me as well. I rarely talk about how busy I am with other people, and I barely even let myself think about how busy I am. I never like to talk about my accomplishments either. Even when I won this award, I hesitated to tell my roommates and friends because I didn’t want to feel like I was bragging.
If you won an award, tell people. You’re just stating a fact.
With that said, don’t go overboard with stating those facts. Once or twice is enough; anymore and you are bordering on bragging.
2. I consider going above and beyond a basic obligation
My parents are both teachers. And because I grew up with two teachers reading over a lot of my homework and most of my papers, I learned that the bare minimum is never enough. Going above and beyond is what gets you noticed; it’s what gets you ahead in life. And after years and years of completing work to that standard, I forgot that I always go above and beyond what’s asked of me. I never look at a project or assignment and think “how can I go above and beyond the prompt?” I just do it instinctively.
I always felt like I was never doing enough compared to other people around me. I especially felt like I was behind on my internship experience.
But when I was forced to write everything down that I’ve done over the past three years … sh*t I’ve actually done a lot – especially considering I’m graduating a whole year early.
I overloaded myself with internships and took advantage of every opportunity I was offered. I never imagined saying no to something because then I would look like a slacker. And never mind if my mental and physical health suffered for it – I didn’t think I had a choice.
Obviously, I don’t blame my parents for bringing me up this way (it’s clearly paid off). These were lessons I had to learn on my own. Because even when my parents told me I didn’t have to do everything if it felt like too much, I brushed it off and decided yes, I do have to do everything. Getting overwhelmed by all the work you willingly take on is for the weak-minded.
In tandem with this idea that I never realize I always go above and beyond, it never clicks that I get recognized because I earned it.
I never let myself stop and feel proud of all the stuff I’ve done because I felt like it’s all stuff I should be doing anyway. I also always felt a little arrogant for being proud of myself.
I view winning this award from two perspectives. One perspective (that someone else had to point out to me) is that these awards don’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Outside of St. Bonaventure University, no one even knows what this award is. Even some people outside the school of communications don’t know what this award is. Who cares if you win the award or not?
The other perspective is the only one I held for the longest time and still feels the most important to me. It is a huge deal to win this award. Such a big deal in fact that I seriously considered not graduating early for the sole purpose of having a better chance of winning an award. It may sound silly but getting recognition for all the work I’ve done is a GIANT weight lifted off my shoulders.
It feels like “wait I’m not the only one who thinks I’m good at this. Professionals in the field think so too,” which is an unparalleled relief.
Though it sounds cliché to say, you really do learn so much in college, more than just what you read from a book. And these life lessons might sound obvious to you, but for me they were eye-opening revelations.
When you structure your brain a certain way and live with it for so long, it’s hard to take a step back from yourself and actually look at who you are from an outside perspective.
The things that have happened to me weren’t just luck. I did the work to make them happen.
Perhaps that is the most crucial lesson I can leave myself with (and with you): Things are going to happen because I will make them happen.