Being the oldest child of any family comes with its challenges. As the firstborn, expectations are higher, responsibilities come sooner, and the pressure to set a good example never fades away. Having one younger brother particularly makes this role even more complicated.
The main struggle I have with being the oldest child is the weight of responsibility. My parents naturally expected more from me because I am their firstborn. I was always asked to do the chores, schoolwork, and watch over my younger brother, which at times made me feel like a second parent.
I was expected to keep an eye on him and make sure he behaved. This responsibility was supposed to build maturity, but it ended up creating stress and unfairness. Â
My brother and I only have a two-year age gap, so we ended up doing everything together, whether it was summer camp or sports. Growing up, my younger brother was the problem child, always getting yelled at or getting into trouble
I, most of the time, was told I needed to set a better example for him so he would behave better… But my whole life had already been spent setting that good example, and I did not know what more I could have done.
There was a tough balance between closeness and rivalry between us. Our relationship swung between being best friends and competitors. He always got away with more leniency since my parents were more relaxed with him. This always left me feeling overlooked, jealous, and like things were unfair. At the same time, my brother has become my best friend, and I don’t know what I would do without him.
As the oldest child in my family, I have grown to accept the role of being the “independent” kid who can always figure it out on my own. Being the oldest sibling made me grow up too fast, become mature for my age, and forced me into hyper-independence.
Being the oldest is a role that comes with pride and difficulty. There are millions of responsibilities, heavy pressure to be a good role model, and the balance of best friends and rivals.
No matter how well I do or how much I achieve, I will always feel like I am not enough. I always expect people to take care of me because I have spent the majority of my life taking care of everyone else.
I am still unsure if the struggles we all go through as oldest siblings are equal to the strengths we gain.