Relationships are hard, and that is normal.
When I say relationships, I mean platonic ones. It is true that romantic relationships are tough too, but in terms of my experience, I cannot back that. Therefore, this is all about the difficulties that many, if not all, people face when they have close platonic relationships with others.
You may think that everyone else’s friendships around you are perfect, whether that is from the perception of social media or the laughter they share when sitting two seats down from you in the dining hall. But I promise most relationships have a scratch with some bandages over top, waiting to heal.
Nobody is perfect. Therefore, the connections of two, three, four, or 10 people are not perfect either.
Every single person in this world has a bad trait. That is going to show up in a relationship but just know you have bad traits too. No matter what trait you are dealing with, it is going to be hard in its own way.
Issues and problems are normal (to an extent of course).
Arguments are bound to happen when you are close to somebody and with them all the time. You are not going to agree on everything, and that is okay. We all have different opinions and values. A relationship is strong when the problems are recognized, and each person tries to solve the issue and come to a conclusion, whether that is understanding each other’s feelings, compromising, or fulfilling what is missing in the relationship.
Without any arguments, a relationship has a harder time growing and improving.
If there are problems in a relationship that are not shown through arguments (and arguments can just be heartfelt disagreements, they are not all harsh fighting!), those unknown feelings are bottled up inside a person, and the other person may never know that their traits or actions are hurting the other. So, talk about it.
You have to work at relationships. They take time and effort. Close relationships are not just given to you; they are a prize based on how hard you try to preserve them, how much you want them, and how often you appreciate them.
That is also why having a romantic relationship right now is not reasonable. It would be selfish to the boy and the other relationships in my life right now. I would not be able to balance and allow them all the time they deserve right now. I am also not behind in romantic relationships…I am literally 19.
Relationships are not meant to come easy.
That is what makes the good moments, which will come more often than the bad moments, that much more special.
You will learn to value the feelings and opinions that the other person has. You will understand them at a deeper level. You will appreciate them a little more and be excited for all their achievements. You will laugh a little louder with them. You will try your hardest not to lose them.
Close relationships are extremely challenging but extremely important.
It’s normal to face difficulties and argue occasionally; that’s how you know you both care.