There are five types of men that you will meet in college, and I am not talking about the “athletes” or the “stoners.” I am talking about the oddly specific yet painfully accurate categories that all college men fit into. But keep in mind that guys are not restricted to just one of these categories; they may embody a few of them.
The “I was Popular in High School”
We all know this guy. He somehow still has the same friend group that he had in middle school, and he always has a new “long-term” girlfriend. He is cocky, needs constant attention, and may have a drinking problem. He plays a club sport but makes it known that he “could have played D1 if he wanted to”.
The solitaire
The solitaire respects women but recognizes that that’s the bare minimum. He is quietly confident. He keeps to himself and has a great taste in music. He goes out to have fun, not to go home with the first woman he makes eye contact with during “Piano Man.” He is a diamond in the rough.
The pretentious contrarian
My least favorite type of guy I’ve met in college: the pretentious contrarian. He will disagree with you just to restate your point as his own moments later. He needs his friends to think he’s smart and thinks he knows more than his professors. He has a Letterboxd and reads Fox opinion pieces for fun. He almost certainly has never felt the touch of a woman.
The “Nice guy”
The “nice guy” has existed for centuries. He is coy and manipulative; even the smartest of women may fall into his trap. He insists he’s not like his friends (who are all terrible people, by the way). He claims he’s only friends with them because they’re his “boys.”
At first, he seems harmless. He’s a good friend; he even confides in you. He tells you that his ex-girlfriend cheated on him. He wants you to feel bad for him, so much so that you’ll sleep with him. You don’t, of course.
Ultimately, he decides that he hates you when you tell him that you just want to be friends.
The “I’m awesome (and humble too)” guy
Just behind the pretentious contrarian in a race for the worst kind of man is the “awesome but humble” guy. Spoiler alert: he is not humble. He loves the sound of his own voice and thinks he has a face for television. He is a total mama’s boy, but still thinks women could never be as capable as men. He is as successful as he is ethically and morally inept.