Christmas is coming really fast, and it seems like we were all just celebrating the New Year. That means that soon I will be home and sitting around the Christmas tree opening gifts with a smile on my face. I love the holidays, and Christmas is my second favorite, but it is also the hardest holiday for me to enjoy.
Christmas is a holiday that is all about family and being around people you love or care about. That is what makes Christmas so hard for me because sometimes I look around and I just feel so full and happy being around all my family. However, lately it is harder to do that when I look around and see everyone who should be there enjoying the holidays.
The last few years have been the hardest for me because I have lost some of the most important people to me. This makes the holidays a very sad and hard time to get through, when half of the days, I just want to curl into a ball on my bed and cry to myself. Even though I feel like this, I know that my loved ones who have passed away would not want me to feel like that.
This makes me want to try to remember the happy times that I had with them and not how much I miss them, which is easier said than done, but I do try. With it being closer to the holidays, and I am missing them more than ever, I want to share some of the memories that I have with them.
The first person that I want to talk about is my Grandma Pam, who passed away when I was around eleven years old. I remember going to my grandma’s all the time to spend the night or for her to babysit us. I remember making pizza with her and sitting on her couch watching Disney movies until we fell asleep. I also remember when we went to visit her, she always had a neighbor who she would take us to see, who always had cookies for us and had two cute dogs.
The second person that I want to talk about is my Grandpa Gamet, who passed away about five years ago in October. I loved my grandpa with my whole heart, and he was one of the nicest people that I knew. I remember riding in his truck, and he would always have pink lozenges in his center console. One memory I have with him that is my favorite is one time when my brother, my parents, and I went fishing with him. I remember him pushing me on the swings and feeling like I was the luckiest girl in the world because of how high he could push me.
The next person that I want to talk to is my Great Grandma Doane, who was one of my favorite people in the world. She was the sweetest person ever, and she loved everybody, no matter who they were. She passed away about five years ago, about two weeks after Thanksgiving. The biggest memory that I have with her is that no matter what holiday we were celebrating at her house, we would always play Uno. I also sat next to her, and when I played any card that gave her more cards or skipped her, she would always say that she disowned me as she burst into laughter. I miss hearing her laugh and hearing her say that she loves me.
The last person that I want to talk about is my grandma’s boyfriend, whom I considered my Grandpa Mark, and he passed away in March of this year. He was the sweetest, most selfless person that I had ever met. He always made sure that no matter what he was going through, everyone else had what they needed. My favorite memories with him are from the community kitchen that we used to do at the church he went to. He would always help us make the dinners and then deliver them to people who couldn’t come to get them. He was so funny, and I miss his hugs because he always gave me the best hugs ever.
Those are some of the people whom I miss the most this year, and whom I think about when I look around and see everyone who should be here with us still. Even though I will miss them forever and nothing is the same, without them, life does go on, and I am forever grateful for the time that I got to spend with them.