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The First Love

Morgan Kilger Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

When babies are born, a traditional gift that is given is a comfort item. These are typically blankets or stuffed animals. Like most, I was given a stuffed bear I named “Minnie” or “Minn-Minn.” 

That bear was my entire world, and she looks like it, too. When she was first given to me, she was plump with stuffing, snow-white shell, and piercing blue stitched eyes. After 21 years of love, she has less stuffing, a muted shell, and still those piercing blue stitched eyes. 

It’s been rough out here for her. 

Minnie was my biggest source of comfort as a kid; she still is sometimes as an adult. She would sleep with me every night and go on every trip with us. There was a time when she left the house for errands, but that stopped after I lost her and my other bear named “Mickey” at a Mighty Taco briefly. I got Minnie back, but not Mickey. 

I was distraught after Mickey didn’t make it home with me. While my mom tried her best to comfort me, all I wanted was the comfort of Minnie. 

As an adult who still has her childhood comfort item, I feel a sense of security with it. When I first moved to college, I didn’t initially bring Minnie with me. Something felt off. When I brought her back after fall break, I felt like all was right in the world again. That sense of comfort she brought was back.

Being an adult with a comfort item isn’t something I’m ashamed of. I’m not exactly empowered by this either. It’s just something that has been a constant thing in my life for as long as I can remember. 

Every time I came home from school, Minnie was there on my bed waiting for me. When I would return from an exhausting cheerleading practice, she was ready to give me some comfort. I could always rely on her to bring some sort of comfort to me. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Morgan, it’s a stuffed animal. I get that, but the feeling of a comfort item is indescribable. I know she physically can’t do anything to bring me comfort, but it’s simply her existence. 

The way she feels and smells immediately calms me down if I were to need it. 

I am grateful to still have Minnie after 21 years, and it’s been a long 21 years for her. She’s survived seven stuffed animal-loving dogs, several in-house misplacements, and three college move-ins. I hope to have her as I progress through my adult life as a symbol that there is always comfort, even if it can’t talk to you or hug you back.

Morgan is a second-year writer and co-social media chair for St. Bonaventure University’s chapter of Her Campus, and is very excited to continue writing about what she is passionate about. This includes: mental health, pop culture, academic tips, and life experiences. She is also excited to be part of the executive board this year and help bring HCSBU to life on social media.

Outside of Her Campus, you can find Morgan as Communications Officer for SBU College Democrats, a student ambassador, and dancing with the SBU Dance Team. As for her studies, she is a senior history and women’s studies double major with a political science minor. Morgan aspires to work in a museum or university archive.

In her free time, Morgan enjoys being herself with her loved ones. Whether it’s watching Riverdale with her roommates or taking post-dinner trips to Wendy’s, she loves to spend time with her friends. She’s also working through her “to be read” list before she graduates, which is pages upon pages long (every pun intended).