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girls at a festival waiting for the show begins.
girls at a festival waiting for the show begins.
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SBU | Life

The Casual First Date as a Women

Madeline Thornton Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I haven’t thought about the act of a first date ever. And I mean ever. With exes you meet in high school and just started dating, if you went on dates, it was rare. If you could call going with the parents a “date”. I didn’t even think about it till I just went on one the other day. Not only was this my first real date and my first first date ever, I am a nervous person in general, so I was scared. But it did make me appreciate the friendships that I have found in college more.

At first, I had my friend, Anjali come over and help me pick out an outfit to wear, and I sat there getting ready while she watched a soccer game. I had called my cousins and friends Kyla, Mads and Kin and we talked about it. We listened to music this whole time and I finished getting ready. I then went to dinner with my friends. Time went on and he came to pick me up and Anjali opened the door for me to get in. The date then happened. As one does, I went to the bathroom and called her to tell her what was going on. He dropped me off and I fast-paced walked inside. I was more excited for the debrief of the date than the actual date. The debrief consisted of telling multiple people, because my friends weren’t all with me at once. All the retellings were exciting. This debrief lasted over a day, because I was putting a lot of thought into whether or not this would work. Should I go out on another date? We used the whiteboard from our study lounge on the floor for this as well. Then, the night after, around 24 hours later, I got ghosted. I figured that I would be a little more upset, but I’m not. It didn’t work out and that is okay. Not to seem cocky, but I could do way better. Plus, I didn’t think we would align well anyways. 

Does this make me want to stop completely? Yes. Do I feel like there is no one out there for me? Yes. But queue the TikTok sound where it says, “Are you okay? Yeah, I’ve got my girls.” Because, at the end of the day, I have people, and I don’t need a man to live a happy and fulfilling life. 

The moral of the story is to cherish those around you. My friends didn’t have to sit and listen to me talk about the date or help me get ready and open doors for me. They didn’t have to laugh with me or support me through any of it, but they did. So, I’ll be fine, single or in a relationship, at any other point in my life because I truly have my girls.

P.S. A few days later, I found out the reason why I was ghosted, and I truly believe now that I don’t want to date ever again.

Madeline Thornton

SBU '28

Madeline Thornton is the Big and Little Coordinater for the St. Bonaventure Her Campus Chapter. She writes pieces that focus on girlhood, campus life, reading and a multitude of other interests. These pieces will range from fun and lighthearted, to some more thought provoking and heart tugging. She hopes to grow the sisterhood bonds with the Big and Little Program as well as her creativity within her writing.

Madeline is currently a sophomore Psychology major with a minor in Business Administration minor. Madeline not only spends a lot of time dedicated to Her Campus, but also around campus with being a Student Ambassador, working in St. Bonaventure’s Financial Aid office, a Resident Assistant, and being a part of multiple other clubs: Empower, Book Club, Psychology Club, Women in Business and ENACTUS.

Away from her academics, Madeline spends her time reading, working out, and hanging out with her friends and family. She has two cats, Clara and Caliope. She loves anything that could be put into a romance genre, from books, movies and more! Lastly, she loves to grab a sweet treat, her favorite ice cream is Grasshopper Pie, it tastes better than the name, she promises! She works at an ice cream shop over the summer, so she will never say no to a sweet treat!