Was anyone else hoping for maybe just one more week of summer?
I know I was.
I say ‘was’ because now that I am finally back in a routine, those end-of-August days do not seem so detrimental to my mental health. But, after almost having to push this feeling of longing to the side, for the sake of settling in comfortably to college life, I realized what had created this feeling in the first place. I had still not yet recovered from the previous semester’s burnout.
So much of summer is filled with finding the balance between preparation for whatever comes next and being completely relaxed. Preparation, whether it be school, traveling, an internship, or a job, and relaxing, whether it be tanning, vacationing, or sleeping in. It goes by so fast that sometimes you cannot even remember the time that was spent not trying to have this balance. And if not physically, even mentally preparing. At least, in my opinion, it does.
What happened was I never stopped mentally preparing. I feel like a successful break can be split into three sessions. There is the first session which is complete leisure. You should focus on trying to do as much of nothing as you can to recover from the pressure and deadlines during the semester. Next, is the preparation session, this should be such a small segment of the break, as if it is a time to remind yourself to take some of that leisure into your future endeavors. But, also remind yourself of your goals and aspirations that you are doing all of this work for. Finally, is the reflection session. This is the time for you to take all of your new attitudes that you have gathered in the previous time and put it into the context of being as successful as you possibly can, mentally, academically, and physically.
So, sure, I took vacations and days off, but I never gave my brain a chance to relish in some of these sessions. Because of the hecticness of my summer, some days felt like there was an overload of all three sessions in one day. I also think I let my brain sit in session one for a bit too long because of the amount of burnout from last semester. I did not even want to open my computer because of the sense of responsibility that the small action gave me. So, by default, I let myself float in the feeling of not having to meet a deadline or meeting and I really liked it. So much so that I never took the time to apply my new attitude of relaxation to what I want out of the school year.
And maybe all of this analyzing on why I am still feeling not completely ecstatic about this new year is completely the reason why I am burnt out in the first place. I mean, after all, burnout doesn’t just magically get cured in the summer. I wish I could’ve found the balance to it all. But I have always felt that trying to understand why am I feeling has helped to understand what I am feeling. Which in this case, is burnout.
Plus, breaks from school are different for everyone. But for me, this time, I just wish there was one more week of summer.