The Blueprint She Never Drew

When people picture the “handy one” in a family, they usually imagine a dad in the garage fixing whatever breaks. That was never my reality. In my house, it was always my mom. 

She was always the one pulling out the toolbox to build something. She has always been the one to do all the heavy lifting. She was always the one to do all of the “manly” chores. She has never made a big deal out of it; it was just something that needed to get done, and she did it. Growing up, I never questioned it. 

I became used to my mom building new furniture herself and bringing in the groceries in one trip. That was just normal. It didn’t seem like anything extraordinary or abnormal at the time. It was just my mom being my mom.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve started to realize how important it is that my mom set that example for my sister and me. I am beyond grateful that my mom set that example for me, teaching me everything my dad could do; she could do too (and probably better)!

We are shaped by expectations, some obvious, and some so subtle that we don’t even notice them. Society has created expectations of what women should and shouldn’t do, what we are good at, and how we are supposed to fit into society.

My mom never really followed these expectations. She didn’t wait for someone else to fix things. She never viewed any task as being “too difficult.” She never questioned what she was capable of; she tried her best, and most of the time, figured it out on her own. Looking back, watching that changed the way that I see what it means to be strong.  

To me, that’s what women’s empowerment is about. It’s not always a loud or profound statement. Sometimes it’s quietly woven into everyday life, like taking the time to fix something that’s broken or stepping up to take care of something without hesitation.

My mom taught me that empowerment isn’t about trying to capture an image of strength, but trusting yourself to always try hard, even when something seems impossible. She showed me that I don’t need to wait for anyone else to step up and that I can handle it myself, no matter how challenging something is.  

Now, when I’m faced with something that feels overwhelming or out of my comfort zone, I think of her. I think of the way she approached every problem as if it were solvable.  My mom may have been fixing things around the house, but what she was really doing was redefining what strength looks like. And in doing that, she empowered me to believe that I can be strong, capable, and independent too. 

• feminism
• mom
• women
• Women's History Month