Growing up with a single parent, you don’t realize how much community matters to them, which in turn matters to you. The phrase “it takes a village” really does ring true, especially in this situation.
Now that I’m older, I’ve come to realize this. So much of my life—what I’ve been given, achieved, and overcome—is because of the number of people who helped my mom raise my brother and me.
I’ve looked back on my life to realize there was not a time when my mom was ever alone on the battlefield of single parenthood. I don’t mean that in the sense that other people were always at our house, because that was not the case; it was typically always just the three of us together. What I mean is that there was always someone who was a phone call away and willing to help with whatever was needed.
My mom didn’t let this new lifestyle hinder my brother’s and my childhood. She still went through hoops and great lengths to try to make it so we could do what we wanted and explore our interests.
Take sports, for example, which were almost the entirety of my childhood, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve tried just about every sport you can, thanks to my mom and the community she built around her.
Because my brother was also on multiple different teams, it was hard for my mom to be the only one driving us around to practices, games, and other team events. But there were other people there willing to help: other parents of teammates, Gamma, neighbors. There was an endless support system there for us.
As a kid, I didn’t understand how important those people were and still are. How much their effort in our lives shaped me into who I am today.
Since I was around all these different people, they became some of the closest people in my heart. I connected with each of them differently, as one does with anyone, and those connections built me into a person that my mom couldn’t build on her own.
Yes, my mom taught me plenty of things in life, how to be independent (maybe a little too independent at times, as she would say), how to be strong, how to be brave, how to move furniture on your own (my favorite life skill now).
But there were other things she couldn’t teach me, as well as the people in our support system.
Dee, her best friend, taught me how to be whimsical and not let my hard shell get in the way.
Gamma taught me how to cook and bake, and never let the “grumpy trolls” cling to you; you must throw them out the car window.
Amie taught me it’s ok to play dress up and feel pretty. I can’t let my independent nature deter me from still being a girl. Yeah, my mom tried this one, but I wouldn’t listen.
These people, and so many more, shaped who I am today. They are the backstage crew no one notices, but without them, the show would look completely different.
Everyone has their own backstage crew, even if they themselves haven’t begun to realize it.