I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel like I’m constantly busy and somehow still getting absolutely nothing done. I can have an entire day with no major plans and still manage to feel like I have a million things to do. Every night, I tell myself that tomorrow is going to be different, tomorrow is a new day! I am going to wake up early, go to the gym, get all my homework done, clean my room, do my laundry, and maybe even eat a real meal. This motivation hits me right before I go to sleep, prime time of motivation: 1 a.m. I go to bed feeling so motivated, fully convinced that I’m about to become the most put-together person ever. Then the morning comes, my alarm goes off, and I immediately regret every decision I made the night before.
I think we can all agree that waking up early sounds a lot better the night before than it does when it’s actually time to get out of bed at the ass crack of dawn. I will set my alarm for 7 a.m. even though I know I don’t have to be anywhere until 10 a.m. I convince myself that I’ll have so much extra time to get ready, grab coffee, and maybe even get some homework done. Instead, I just hit the snooze button until the absolute last possible minute I can get out of bed. Then I’m rushing around, trying to find something to wear, looking for my keys, and somehow leaving my room with half of my stuff still sitting on my desk. The morning routine I planned in my head never actually happens.
And don’t even get me started on laundry days. I swear doing laundry in college is one of those things that sounds so simple until you actually have to do it. You have to collect all your clothes, find a washer that is actually available and works, remember to switch everything over, and then somehow convince yourself to fold it all AND put it away. That last part is where I usually give up. Eventually, everything gets put away in the correct place, and the cycle repeats. The worst part is complaining that I have nothing to wear when I have an entire closet full of clothes right next to me.
Homework is just another thing I swear I’m going to get better at getting done early. I could spend an entire day thinking about an assignment without actually even opening it once. I’ll tell myself that I’m going to start after lunch, then after I take a shower, then after I clean my room, and then after I watch one episode of whatever show I am currently obsessed with. Somehow, the assignment keeps getting pushed back. I’ll even open my laptop and sit there with the document pulled up just to make myself feel like I am being productive. Does that count for anything? Probably not, but I like to think it does.
The funniest part is how much I can get done when I am supposed to be doing something else. If I have a paper due at 11:59 that night, suddenly I want to reorganize my entire closet. If I have a test to study for, I suddenly remember that my room needs to be vacuumed. I will find literally anything else to do except the one thing I actually need to get done. Then Sunday night rolls around, and I’m sitting there wondering why I didn’t just do it earlier. Every single week, I tell myself that next weekend will be different. \
It never is.
Being a college girl also means constantly telling yourself you need to stop spending money while finding a new reason to spend money every single day. I will check my bank account, decide that I need to be more responsible, and promise myself that I am not buying anything unnecessary for the rest of the week. Then someone asks if I want to get a coffee, and suddenly I forget about that promise. Of course I want coffee. I deserve a little treat, this week was hard on me. I had to go to class today, after all. Then there’s the shopping trip that starts with needing one thing and somehow ends with a basket full of stuff I did not even know I wanted. I always leave thinking I didn’t spend that much until I actually look at my bank account.
Another thing that never makes sense to me is having a closet full of clothes and still having absolutely nothing to wear. I could stand in front of my closet for twenty minutes, try on multiple outfits, and somehow end up wearing the same thing I wore last week. I will plan an outfit days ahead of time, be so excited about it, and then wake up the day of, try it on, and decide I hate it. Sometimes I’ll even ask my friends what I should wear, send them pictures of three different outfits, and then choose something completely different anyway. Why do I do this to myself?
I also think that there’s a lot of pressure to have your whole life together in college. You see girls online waking up early, making their beds, going to Pilates, drinking their matcha, studying for hours, and somehow looking perfect while doing it. Meanwhile, I am trying to remember what day it is and whether I have an assignment due. I love watching those videos, but sometimes I wonder how these girls have so much time on their hands.
Are they not tired? Do they not have laundry? Do they not have a random pile of things on their desk that they have been meaning to put away for three weeks? I need answers.
The truth is, I think most of us are just trying to figure things out as we go. Some days we are super motivated and feel like we have everything under control. Other days, getting out of bed and making it to class feels like a huge accomplishment. And honestly, that’s okay. College is already busy enough without feeling like we need to be productive every single second of the day.
I have come to realize that maybe having your life together doesn’t mean having a perfectly clean room, a completed to-do list, and a five-step morning routine. Maybe it just means getting through the week, showing up for yourself, and remembering to take your laundry out of the dryer before someone else does it for you.
So, if you’re reading this while sitting in bed, avoiding homework, with a laundry basket you have been ignoring all weekend, I promise you aren’t the only one. We’re all in this together. And if today was not the day you got your life together, there is always tomorrow.
Or Monday.
Yeah, Monday sounds good.