For this week, we were assigned the task of writing a letter to our past selves. I was immediately dreading writing this article because it meant I would have to write about myself. When brainstorming what exactly I wanted to say, I thought to myself, “How personal do I wanna get with this?” I quickly answered my own question with “Obviously not very,” which immediately made me think of how I spent most of my life: hiding my feelings from friends and family. This is something I wish people would have told me was not the correct way to deal with my emotions and was not healthy. So, even though I knew I was going to hate doing it, I decided with this article I would step outside my comfort zone and get personal.
Dear Past Me,
High school is a difficult time. We go through many experiences that have such a strong impact on who we are today. As you begin this new journey in our life, I wanted to share some advice that would definitely have helped me at the time.
Guess what? We’re not perfect. Not even close. But that’s ok because we don’t have to be. I know that it sometimes feels like we do, but we don’t, which is great because it means we can make mistakes. And we need to make mistakes. Please I am begging, make mistakes. I know they feel awful at the time, but those mistakes push us to work harder. They are the reason we eventually succeed.
I know how desperately we want to fit in, to be unnoticed, to be invisible. I know how standing out in a crowd is our biggest fear. We never wanted to stand out, just simply blend into the background and be the most average person possible. Because being average is being likable. I know how we often stress about what other people think of us. Sometimes it’s all we think about. But unfortunately, no matter how hard we try, not everyone will like us. And that’s okay too. We just simply can’t please everyone. And when we realize that, it makes life so much easier.
Let me guess, we’re probably extremely worried right now about a sports game, a math test, a family event or all three. But to be completely honest, these things don’t matter. I know this may be harsh, but it’s true. I don’t even think about those things now. They don’t even cross my mind. So, they are not things we need to care so immensely about. We don’t need to lie awake every night and think about the ball we didn’t catch, or the problem we missed, or the dumb thing we said. Instead, just go to bed. Dream about the friends we made, the things we learned, and the laughs we had.
We are the most competitive person I have ever met. I still haven’t figured out why it’s so important to us that we win, but it is. It’s probably less love of winning and more fear of failure. Unfortunately, this makes high school sports at a small school pretty difficult. But lucky for us, we pretty quickly learn that winning just doesn’t matter. What does matter is what we learn from the sports we play. We learn to be a good leader, to be confident in ourselves, and how failure, no matter how frustrating it is, causes growth.
Lastly, be vulnerable, don’t be afraid to share our emotions. Tell others how we feel. It might be hard at first, but it pays off in the long run. Telling those we love when we are struggling doesn’t always alleviate pain, but shows that we have people who will always be there for us. So, like I am doing in writing us this letter, get personal.
Love, Future You