All things happen for a reason. Breakups happen, falling out with old friends, and moving on from certain people; these all occur in everyone’s lives, and they’re very difficult to avoid.
You’re able to do things to try and steer clear of these little problems but most of the time, it’s impossible. But that’s how life works.
Rather than dwelling on the past, looking forward to the future is ideal. Yes, of course, you can reminisce about past experiences, but, for the sake of one’s mental health, it is best to move on.
For example, my very first, and only, boyfriend and I broke up late last June. It was a tough decision I had to make, but in the end, it was the best choice for both of us.
But recently, a little bit before Thanksgiving break, I was experiencing feelings of loneliness when the topic of relationships was brought up due to the fact of not having a boyfriend anymore. After a while, I started to overthink.
We ended on a bad foot, and I felt as if my decision was wrong and I shouldn’t have broken up with him. I had missed the idea of having a boyfriend rather than missing his poor actions that led to the breakup. This night of my exasperated feelings and overthinking, I had started spam texting my best friend, telling her everything.
She had given me great advice to try and distract myself with my friends and get in a positive mood rather than dwelling. For the rest of the night, I surrounded myself with some of my closest friends who had cheered me up and made me feel much better.
Of course, hiding my feelings like this and trying to cover them up with a smile is never the right choice in the long run. Once I got home for Thanksgiving break, I had a long conversation with my mom about what she thought the best plan of action would be.
She had stated that maybe grabbing a coffee with him to catch up would be a good decision, so that’s exactly what we did.
The morning we had gotten coffee together, we had sat in Starbucks for around three hours just talking about anything and everything that had happened recently. I couldn’t have asked for a better choice to make.
The clarity I felt after knowing he was doing well and is healthy completely vanished all of my overthinking. I had known that I wanted to just stay friends, and I am so glad to have had this opportunity to regain our friendship after so long; it made me so happy getting to see him.
Reminiscing on the past is alright, of course, but when it’s done in moderation. Dwelling on the past should be avoided.
Moral of the story, if there’s someone in your life that you miss or feel as if you just need a simple conversation with, send that text and catch up!