I feel like everyone has that friendship that basically defines them. For me, it’s a trio. The two people I know I was meant to find, no matter the time, place, or circumstance, live approximately 304 miles, or five hours and twelve minutes, away in (you guessed it) Potsdam, New York. My two best friends—though I’d consider them my platonic soulmates any day—Spencer and Quinn (or, to me, Spence and Wey) are both members of SUNY Potsdam’s Class of 2028.
Spending every day at different colleges without my best friends is hard. It used to be even harder.
My senior year was filled with milestones you spend your whole high school career looking forward to: senior prom, senior skip day, senior sunrise, senior nights for both of my sports, and my senior musical. Looking back, I miss that year a lot. But even in the middle of those moments, one thought constantly lingered in the back of my mind: I wish Spence and Wey were here.
Sure, I had close friends in my grade, but I couldn’t help missing my trio. Many of my friends graduated in 2024, and I love them all deeply, but the bond between the three of us has always been different.
We’ve been inseparable since 2022, when I jokingly dubbed us “the Trailblazer Throuple” (long story). All my friends here at St. Bonaventure University know all about them, and I’ve been told their friends at Potsdam hear about me just as much.
Obviously, we’re not actually a throuple… but we are married. I call them my husbands, even though we’re “just” best friends. It’s confusing, I know…confusing to anyone but us. To sum our friendship up: We’re not the type of group that keeps inside jokes to exclude others; our jokes just become part of who we are. We know each other in ways no one else could.
That’s why saying goodbye at the end of summer 2024 hurt so much. Part of it was simply that I’d miss them. But another part was that they were going to be roommates. The thought of them living together, five hours away, without me, terrified me. I wasn’t worried about our friendship, exactly, but I was scared that distance and new people might change things. The idea of being replaced felt so real that it made me want to scream.
But I didn’t want to be that friend who texts every day, prying about every new person they meet just to make sure no one’s getting closer to them than I am. So, I let them be.
And, as it turns out, my anxious, insecure mind was wrong. They didn’t replace me. Sure, they have their Potsdam best friends, but they still text me at random times saying they wish I were there, just like I text them when I’m at some house party I don’t really want to be at, saying I wish they were here (even though they’d hate it, too).
I could probably write my next ten articles about how much I love and miss these boys, or about our inside jokes, or our favorite memories. But honestly… I don’t think I’d want to. Part of what makes our friendship so special is that it’s ours. They get me in a way no one else does, and sharing every detail would make it feel a little less like ours alone.
Sorry, world—but my throuple will stay just that: mine.
I love St. Bonaventure, and funny enough, I’ve found another trio here—one I love with all my heart, just in different ways. Still, I can’t shake the thought that lingers in the back of my mind: I wish Spence and Wey were here.
I just hope the people at SUNY Potsdam know how lucky they are to have them.