College is a breeding ground for singlism. We are constantly encouraged to involve ourselves romantically with others by our friends and family. We hear stories from our professors and family friends about how they met their spouses in college. We are surrounded by situationships and one-night stands which are considered more commonplace for young adults than simply being single. We are told that being involved with someone is a big part of the “college experience.”
Whenever people ask me if I am talking to anyone new, they seem bored or dissatisfied when I say I am not and that I would rather be on my own. I have been told countless times that I should not worry because I will “find the right person when I least expect it.” I’ve been told that I could not possibly enjoy being single and that there will be this elusive, irresistible “someone” who will change my mind about being single forever.
But I am not interested in that. I already have plenty in my life that I find fulfilling and that makes me happy. Maybe one day I will decide that I am ready to pursue something with someone but that will be because I have accomplished what I needed to, emotionally and otherwise.
I am not anti-fun, and I love hearing friends’ stories about their new flings or relationships. But for me, I still have a lot to learn about myself and I think it is best to use these years to figure out who I am by myself.
I don’t think everything needs to be centered around relationships and hook-ups when there is so much more that the world has to offer. I will always support the healthy relationships of those around me, but I think we should all offer single people the same courtesy. When you care about someone, you offer support rather than singlism.
Being single is honestly one of my favorite things about myself. I have freedom, I have fun, I have time to myself, and I don’t feel pressured to figure out everything about myself before I am ready to.
Not everyone who is single is sad. Some people choose to be single, so there’s no reason to make anyone feel bad about it. My college experience is quite satisfactory despite my being single. I am not missing out on anything and unless someone who is single expresses their desire to change their dating situation, then maybe they don’t feel they are missing out on anything either.